2 A.M. At Denny’s

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Let’s just say that today while working at the water treatment plant, you had a run in with your boss’s ex-wife who happens to be your mom and while looking at her, you think to yourself, “I could really use some fucking pancakes right now.” So you quit your job and out of pure excitement, you speed to your nearest Denny’s at 2 A.M.

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After hitting a fire hydrant and walking to your nearest Denny’s, you get seated almost immediately because the place is nearly empty. You look around to see what type of people you’ expect at a 2 A.M. Denny’s. Truckers, 2nd shift workers, theatre kids, and depressed military personnel. The cold air breezing in from outside makes you shiver because you’re still soaking wet from working all day. You get your menu from the semi attractive waitress and decide to yourself that you are going to get breakfast. So you go for the Lumberjack Slam and enjoy your meal. It fills your stomach with joy but it also doesn’t feel right at the same time.

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You wake up to the sound of a pan hitting the floor. Mary looks over to you and says, “…Hello? Are you even listening?” You don’t agree and proceed to fillet the breakfast sausages that are laid out in front of you. Mary takes the tongs out of your hand so you take her hand and burn it off with the fryer grease. Screaming in pain, you both call the police. After calling the police, you realize that doing this was a dumb idea and you just now remembered that you forgot your car. So you break through the Wendy’s window and run out into the street searching for your car.

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You are searching everywhere but you cannot find your car. The police sirens are starting to get louder and the lights are getting closer. In a frantic mad final dash, you hijack a person’s 2004 Toyota Highlander and gun it down 3rd Ave. After 20 minutes of searching, you find the car parked at your house where you left it. Now it is all starting to come back to you. You realized that you sell GHB to teenagers and you accidentally drugged yourself at Denny’s and you’re now waking up from your trip. So after bringing it all together, you calmly go back into your home and lie down in bed, after setting your alarm next to a burnt hand, you go to sleep ready for the day tomorrow.

-MizdaPige

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