Console Player Stereotypes

This post goes towards the console players and the demographic that fits us all so perfectly. We all know people that are like this.

The Eater

thrillist.com

We all love joining a party or game chat just to hear what Xx_deathk1llR_xX had for lunch. These people are probable one of the most annoying when it comes to a relaxing late-night gaming session. We don’t want to hear your Chipotle burrito. Mute your mic.

The Ear Rapist

youtube.com

You’ll just be randomly playing a video game or watching a video when all of a sudden, your friend decides to imitate the sound of a hippo getting railed by barbed wire. These friends are hilarious to have in a party just because of the pure randomness of their actions. If they do it too much however, they are just bound to get kicked from the party.

The Tryhard Ear Rapist

twitch.tv

There’s always that one person that takes things way too seriously and acts like they’re trying out for a professional Rainbow 6 tournament. These people are fun to have in your party for the sole reason that you get enjoyment from their anger and screams. These are also the type of people that will lose in a Call of Duty match and make it impossible for everybody else to trash talk due to the pure volume of his/her voice.

Jerry

Detroitbecomehumanwiki.com

Just your average Jerry.

Mr. Music

newyorktimes.com

This dude can’t help but forcefully turn you on to his music by blaring it into the mic. There are times where this dude’s music is so loud that you can hear his trap beats more than his callouts. If you encounter this individual, it’s best recommended to turn to Mr. Ear Rapist in your party to inform the kind fella that his music is just a tad excessive. A polite “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” would be perfect and simple enough.

The Wind Tunnel

Homedepot.com

This person for some reason is always hot to the point that he/she will always have their fan on and pointed directly into their mics. No matter how much you tell them to turn their fan off, they will always have a faint sound of a wind tunnel in their mics throughout the rest of the party chat. There’s not stopping it.

“I’ll Be Right Back”

content.time.com

This is the type of dude that will say, “Hey hold up I’ll be right back. I gotta piss.” or “Yo I gotta let my dog out. I’ll be right back.” and then remain AFK for the next 30 minutes to an hour. They’ll be gone for so long at times, you think that they’re preparing a meal for 4. Which in reality, is what they do.

All Lag

youtube.com

You can hardly ever get this dude to finish a

The Mute

youtube.com

This dude will make crucial callouts to your team in a match and then rage because you’re not listening to him. When in reality, he’s the idiot because he forgot to unmute his mic. This is a common occurrence with almost all players with a mic.

Mr. Broke

thinkcomputers.com

This person is usually permanently muted because he/she is too poor to even buy a mic or the games that you want to play. This is mainly because this person would rather spend their money on weed or booze. These people are extremely depressing and usually depressed themselves.

That was a brief list of most of my party chat encounters. I know there’s more out there but it would be impossible to name them all.

-Pige

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