Professional Opinions

Giving you the most accurate and articulate opinions on the internet, AGAIN.

1.) Aliens are real, it’s not a topic of discussion anymore. They’re real and should be talked about as such.

2.) Cupcakes aren’t that good. They make birthday parties a little more dull and are only good if you rip it’s head off and turn it into a sandwich.

3.) What you wear has a very strong effect on how you feel but also gives the “audience” a better idea of your “character”.

4.) Getting high with your friends and having a good conversation doesn’t mean you should start a podcast.

5.) Start taking bubble baths, you deserve it.

6.) It’s important to shower BEFORE you take said bubble bath.

7.) Everything you need is already inside, you just have to find it.

8.) Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros are the superior house party games. Catch me on Peach Beach drifting the blue sparks on yo ass.

9.) The five second rule is a mental placebo, eat the germs and move on.

10.) Poopoo jokes and Peepee jokes and Fart jokes will forever remain hilarious.

11.) There’s no shame in asking for help.

12.) Smoking wouldn’t be such a popular fad if it weren’t for vaping. Still would’ve been a thing, just not a mainstream as generations past.

13.) Mutual Combat should be legal all across the world. If I have to beat some ass I would like to do it legally.

14.) Just scream. Next time you’re alone in your car or in the shower or on a run just let out a hearty scream. It’s cathartic, akin to a good cry. Just trust me on this one, it feels amazing.