Five Actors/Actresses That We Think Should Reprise Their Roles

Five Actors/Actresses and their characters that deserve a second chance.

1.) Tim Allen // The Santa Clause Series

Although he did get an entire trilogy as the iconic character I feel after The Escape Clause (2006) Allen left audiances across America wanting more of the great Scott Calvin we know and love. I think a reboot of the franchise a-la Star Wars: The Force Awakens would do gangbusters at the box office. Imagine a scene reminiscent of the final scene in SW:TFO where Rey finds Luke on Ahch-To and attempts to return him his saber, except instead of Rey it’s Bernard and instead of Luke it’s SCOTT CALVIN/SANTA CLAUSE. Could be dope, just saying.

2.) Betty White // Golden Girls

Imagine, The Golden Girls Movie gets announced, America is in an uproar and we as a nation are on the edge of our seats. Open the trailer and come to find it’s an all out action movie in the vein of a John Wick. Betty White (Rose) tracking down the killers of Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia and getting the revenge she so rightfully deserves. Again, could be cool.

3.) Lefty // Hamburger Helper Commercials

While his products remain a suburban dinner-time staple Lefty hasn’t been in the public eye for over eight years with his last commercial airing in 2013. I Think after all the Right has done to America, we could use a little Lefty in our lives. *Bu Dum Tiss*

4.) Genghis Khan // Mongolian Empire

My only comment will be this; Was he a Warlord, yes. But dude got shit done. Literally just the biggest Chad the world has ever seen and I think as a planet we could use another Genghis Khan/Mongolian Empire.

5.) Jesus // Reality

I think his first run in the titular role was short lived and too shrouded in mystery for modern audiences to truly enjoy. A return to this character would do wonders for modern day fans and leave skeptics baffled for years to come.

10 Times MF DOOM Proved He Mastered The English Language

The Top Ten Bars From The Super Villain Himself. (imo)

About a week ago the idea for a top ten MF DOOM lyrics list hit me like a popped snot bubble, as an avid listener this is something I’ve had internal arguments about from time to time and figured no one reading this could even tell you what the MF stood for (Metal Face, Metal Fingers, Mad Flows). Then in the spirit of 2020 He decided to die … on Halloween, so with all this being said here are my ten favorite flows from the super villain himself.

1.) Rhymes Like Dimes // Operation Doomsday (Remastered)

“Only in America could you find a way to earn a healthy buck and still keep your attitude on self destruct”

A breathtakingly simple bar rhyming only buck and destruct yet the sentiment can be easily overlooked with nearly all DOOM’s bars coming at you so fast and melodically it can feel like their’s no room for you to soak in what he has to say. Yet every listen this is the bar I scream the loudest in my car, hope he can hear me.

2.) Accordion // MadVillain

“Is he still a fly guy clapping if nobody ain’t hear it // And can they testify from inner spirit // In living, the true gods // Giving y’all nothing but the lick like two broads // Got more lyrics than the church got “Ooh Lords” // And he hold the mic and your attention like two swords”

From Buddhist metaphor’s to blowjob’s DOOM shows no mercy in this bar waiving his skill in front of your face like the kid on the playground with the newest toy, asking the listener if they could testify from their heart that they are definitively a fan of him. This is only one example of DOOM throwing the listener in multiple directions in just a couple bars.

3.) All Caps // MadVillain

Do it like the robot to headspin to boogaloo // Took a few minutes to convince the average bug-a-boo // It’s ugly, like look at you, it’s a damn shame // Just remember ALL CAPS when you spell the man name

A sentiment no DOOM fan takes lightly, ALL CAPS WHEN YOU SPELL THE MAN NAME.

4.) Untitled Bonus Track AKA Change the Beat // Viktor Vaughn

“Good googly moogly—see that loogie? // Yeah—but keep it on the D.L. Hughley // You don’t watch her, he might house her like Doogie // Just to cut her loosie like, *swoosh*—Mitsurugi”

Two Things

1.) Fire Doogie Houser rhyme, shout out NPH. 2.) Good Googly Moogly, Did you see that loogie ???

5.) Accordion // MadVillain (Again? I know, it’s just such a good song)

“Living off borrowed time, the clock tick faster // That’d be the hour they knock the slick blaster // Dick Dastardly and Muttley with sick laughter”

Just such a poetic line to open a song with and then to slip it into a Hanna-Barbera Saturday Morning Cartoons bar is another level of rhyming.

6.) That’s That // Born Like This

“Cornish hens switching positions, auditioning morticians // saw it in a vision ignoring prison // ignoramus’s enlist and sound dumb // found ’em drowned in cow’s dung, crowns flung.”

Lot words make brain go brrrr 🙂

7.) Strange Ways // MadVillain

They pray four times a day, they pray five // Who ways is strange when it’s time to survive // Some will go of they own free will to die // Others take them with you when they blow sky high // What’s the difference? All you get is lost children // While the bosses sit up behind the desks, it cost billions // To blast humans in half, into calves and arms // Only one side is allowed to have bombs // It’s like making a soldier drop his weapon //Shooting him, and telling him to get to stepping // Obviously, they came to portion up his fortune // Sounds to me like that old robbery/extortion

No need to analyse this verse, DOOM said it best.

8.) GMO // Key to the Kuffs

“There they go, feminizing men again. Then pretend they don’t know when we know it, xenoestrogen”

I had never known about Xenoestrogen and Xenohormones and all the slimey things about the GMO industry until I listened to hip hop music.

9.) Hey! // Operation Doomsday

“I only play the games that I win at // And stay the same with more rhymes than there’s ways to skin cats // As a matter of fact let me rephrase // With more rhymes and ways to fillet felines in these days”

The fact that he can give you the same bar phrased in two different ways is proof of his masterclass penmanship.

It’s amazing how he can say the same thing twice in the same rhyme just reworded, goes to show how good of a poet he is.

10.) Fazers // Take Me to Your Leader

“Nowadays it’s amazing raising young rule number one // keep your fazers on stun”

I really enjoy the replacing of gun-talk with sci-fi aspects such as fazers. It really ties together his whole Super Villain theme.

REST IN PEACE/POWER TO THE GREATEST TO EVER DO IT

MF DOOM

A Brief History of Lorem Ipsum

A Short history of one of the World’s most mysterious languages.

Lorem ipsum, or Lipsum as it’s sometimes referred, is believed to have been created in the 15th Century by an unknown typesetter, While it’s used as filler text when working on print layout or graphic/web design. It’s commonly used to create a natural looking wall of text so as to not Offset(WOO! WOO! WOO!) the person creating the newspaper/web page ect. While it is commonly used today it first gained popularity in the 1960’s as companies like Letraset would use the language to fill their dry-transfer sheets, and again in the early 90’s as desktop publishers would bundle it with their softwares. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Fermentum leo vel orci porta non pulvinar neque laoreet suspendisse. Est ante in nibh mauris cursus mattis molestie. Pharetra diam sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing bibendum est ultricies. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed velit dignissim sodales ut. Fames ac turpis egestas maecenas pharetra convallis. Morbi quis commodo odio aenean sed adipiscing diam. Eu sem integer vitae justo eget magna fermentum iaculis. Scelerisque purus semper eget duis. Quam id leo in vitae turpis massa sed elementum tempus. Sapien faucibus et molestie ac feugiat. Adipiscing elit pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et. Erat velit scelerisque in dictum non. Vel turpis nunc eget lorem dolor sed viverra. Vitae proin sagittis nisl rhoncus mattis rhoncus urna. Molestie ac feugiat sed lectus vestibulum mattis ullamcorper. Tortor pretium viverra suspendisse potenti nullam ac. Urna id volutpat lacus laoreet non. Mauris in aliquam sem fringilla ut morbi tincidunt. Est ultricies integer quis auctor elit sed vulputate mi sit.

Id neque aliquam vestibulum morbi blandit cursus risus. Nec nam aliquam sem et. Vel eros donec ac odio. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada. Commodo sed egestas egestas fringilla phasellus faucibus. Volutpat maecenas volutpat blandit aliquam etiam erat velit scelerisque in. Integer quis auctor elit sed. Pellentesque eu tincidunt tortor aliquam nulla. Vitae et leo duis ut. Ut ornare lectus sit amet. Mi in nulla posuere sollicitudin. Magna etiam tempor orci eu lobortis elementum nibh.

In est ante in nibh mauris cursus mattis molestie a. Pulvinar sapien et ligula ullamcorper malesuada proin libero nunc consequat. Gravida rutrum quisque non tellus orci ac auctor. Eu nisl nunc mi ipsum. Id neque aliquam vestibulum morbi blandit cursus. Enim nec dui nunc mattis enim. Sit amet mattis vulputate enim. Justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Nec tincidunt praesent semper feugiat nibh sed pulvinar. Diam volutpat commodo sed egestas egestas fringilla. Risus sed vulputate odio ut. Eu scelerisque felis imperdiet proin fermentum leo vel orci. Phasellus vestibulum lorem sed risus ultricies tristique nulla aliquet. Cras pulvinar mattis nunc sed blandit libero volutpat. Mattis nunc sed blandit libero. Bibendum enim facilisis gravida neque.

Sagittis vitae et leo duis ut diam. Ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit pellentesque habitant morbi. Cursus eget nunc scelerisque viverra mauris in aliquam. Convallis aenean et tortor at risus viverra adipiscing at in. Nulla facilisi cras fermentum odio. Cras ornare arcu dui vivamus arcu felis bibendum. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. At risus viverra adipiscing at. Nec feugiat in fermentum posuere urna nec tincidunt praesent semper. Nunc pulvinar sapien et ligula ullamcorper malesuada. Commodo sed egestas egestas fringilla phasellus faucibus scelerisque. Erat imperdiet sed euismod nisi porta lorem mollis aliquam ut. Eget dolor morbi non arcu risus. Arcu risus quis varius quam. Habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac. Facilisis sed odio morbi quis commodo. Erat velit scelerisque in dictum non. Malesuada fames ac turpis egestas maecenas. Lorem sed risus ultricies tristique. Id neque aliquam vestibulum morbi.

Lectus vestibulum mattis ullamcorper velit sed ullamcorper. A diam maecenas sed enim ut sem viverra. Odio morbi quis commodo odio aenean sed. Mauris cursus mattis molestie a iaculis at erat. Tortor condimentum lacinia quis vel eros donec. Ut venenatis tellus in metus vulputate eu scelerisque felis imperdiet. Nunc scelerisque viverra mauris in aliquam sem fringilla ut. Consequat interdum varius sit amet mattis. Quis varius quam quisque id diam vel quam. Pellentesque nec nam aliquam sem. Adipiscing commodo elit at imperdiet dui accumsan sit. Dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing. Est sit amet facilisis magna etiam tempor orci eu lobortis. Mi sit amet mauris commodo quis imperdiet massa.

What Kanye West’s Presidency would’ve looked like

Peak into what a day in the life of an average American Citizen would have looked like in a timeline where Kanye West won the 2020 Presidential Election.

You’re awoken to the sound of Wolves by President West playing over sirens off in the distance, looking to either side of you is a field with tall grass. You begin to realize you’re surrounded by literally everyone you know and even those you don’t. From Celebrities to distant cousins you haven’t had full conversations with in over ten years; To you close family, friends and even your teachers from P.S.R. showed up. Before you can even begin to fathom your surroundings the purr of an ATV engine can be heard coming from down the side of a mountain within eyesight, it’s President West. You’re on his Wyoming ranch. Before any of this can settle in Kanye West is here and it is time to begin Morning Mass.

After Morning Mass, Yeezy begins his 10 hour studio session with Jay-Z, Drake, Lil Wayne, Kid Cudi, Q-Tip, Elton John, Travis Scott, Mike Tyson, Ronald McDonald, Busta Rhymes, Lil Pump, Justin Timberlake,Michael Bublé, Snoop Dogg, Justin Bieber, Allen Iverson, Tupac (in hologram form), Oprah, God Himself, Aunt Jemima, Uncle Jessie, Tony Hawk (seems like could spit mad bars), Master Yoda, The Underaker, Michelangelo (T.M.N.T.), The Golden Girls (Again, in hologram form with the exception of Betty White), Bob Ross, and Chance The Rapper.

Literally everything else in The United States stays exactly the same and life other than this small exception to our morning’s and mass amounts of Kanye West Albums Produced by a plethora of obscure characters nothing changes. Our Polices as a nation stay the same, nothing changes about our borders, economy, covid regulations stay the same; And life as you know it is normal. God Bless President West and God Bless The United States of America.