2 A.M. At Denny’s

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Let’s just say that today while working at the water treatment plant, you had a run in with your boss’s ex-wife who happens to be your mom and while looking at her, you think to yourself, “I could really use some fucking pancakes right now.” So you quit your job and out of pure excitement, you speed to your nearest Denny’s at 2 A.M.

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After hitting a fire hydrant and walking to your nearest Denny’s, you get seated almost immediately because the place is nearly empty. You look around to see what type of people you’ expect at a 2 A.M. Denny’s. Truckers, 2nd shift workers, theatre kids, and depressed military personnel. The cold air breezing in from outside makes you shiver because you’re still soaking wet from working all day. You get your menu from the semi attractive waitress and decide to yourself that you are going to get breakfast. So you go for the Lumberjack Slam and enjoy your meal. It fills your stomach with joy but it also doesn’t feel right at the same time.

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You wake up to the sound of a pan hitting the floor. Mary looks over to you and says, “…Hello? Are you even listening?” You don’t agree and proceed to fillet the breakfast sausages that are laid out in front of you. Mary takes the tongs out of your hand so you take her hand and burn it off with the fryer grease. Screaming in pain, you both call the police. After calling the police, you realize that doing this was a dumb idea and you just now remembered that you forgot your car. So you break through the Wendy’s window and run out into the street searching for your car.

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You are searching everywhere but you cannot find your car. The police sirens are starting to get louder and the lights are getting closer. In a frantic mad final dash, you hijack a person’s 2004 Toyota Highlander and gun it down 3rd Ave. After 20 minutes of searching, you find the car parked at your house where you left it. Now it is all starting to come back to you. You realized that you sell GHB to teenagers and you accidentally drugged yourself at Denny’s and you’re now waking up from your trip. So after bringing it all together, you calmly go back into your home and lie down in bed, after setting your alarm next to a burnt hand, you go to sleep ready for the day tomorrow.

-MizdaPige

How Much Wood Is Too Much?

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It’s a rainy night and you just burned down a kitchen making waffles. You’re distraught because you can’t enjoy your favorite 2 A.M. meal but you’re feeling something way worse than anger. You’re scared. You’re scared because years ago, you fought a giant battle within yourself. A battle that little make it out of alive, and that’s addiction. You didn’t drink or do any drugs because there was something much better and satisfying to fill the void inside. You realize now, you must go back.

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So you visit the place that started it all. You walk into the automatic doors and after waking up, it all starts coming back to you. The smell, the size, the depressed workers, the gardening section. This feeling has been dormant in your life for years. You begin to cry. “Is everything alright sir?” Says a worker from the Paint Department. “….I-I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt like this.” You say back to the worker. “Felt like what?” The worker asks back.

After making a B-Line to the isle you very so desired in your younger years, it felt like reuniting with an old friend. You get closer to the beautifully cut pallets made from Ash Trees. Sweating, you pick it up and almost drop it because it weighs around 35lbs. This is it. This is exactly what you needed. You grab the nearest cart from an old lady and dump out all of the items on it so you can have room for the intense amount of wood needed to replace the kitchen. The total comes out to be $2,399.99.

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You arrive home after a long 14 minute drive feeling defeated. You have returned to the very thing you sought out to destroy. It’s still rainy and every pallet that you carry up to your house ends up soaking wet. The feeling of nostalgia is too much for you to handle. You break down into tears. “I just thought that it would be all over.” You say to yourself silently.

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You wake up from your depressive sleep. All of the wood in the truck has been moved to the house. You look around and see nobody around you. It’s like you did all of this without even having any recollection. The wood is sitting in your house and you say that it’s time. Time to rebuild. You grab your hammer and nails and begin to layout the outline of the floor. While doing this, you hit something under one of the carpets. You rip it out and discover something forgotten about. With no expression or emotion, you pick up the dead Home Depot worker from earlier and place him under your new floorboards. Sealing him away forever.

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Your addiction has become uncaged. You become less and less of yourself after each strike of the hammer. You have realized that it has become too much. So as you make your last few strikes of the hammer, you look up to see that one thing has survived the fire. You pick up your Home Depot employee of the month plaque and proceed to bury it along side your old self under the pallets. Forever.

-A story by MiztaPige

The Rise of Underground Music Due to COVID-19

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The old is becoming new again. Repeated and processed music on mainstream radio stations are dying. With people being quarantined because of COVID-19, they are beginning to grow tired of the same song being played every 30 minutes while they’re on a drive. Therefore, underground music is making a colossal rise in popularity.

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There is a large population of Americans in the current state that we are living in that have grown old to hearing the same manufactured junk that is produced by large corporations only used to make profit. The public knows that the art of creative writing has died in places like Hollywood and Nashville. Because they know this, a new musical renaissance has begun varying amongst all different genres. New styles are being created and the old is returning. Beautiful art has been returning for a while but now it is finally being recognized and we are all glad to see it.

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Since the beginning of its start, YouTube has become the largest website for promoting upcoming and rising musicians. It is where record companies and famous musicians look when they want to find someone new. Some of the most famous musicians on mainstream radio started out on YouTube. Examples are Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber. These artists however, were in the old days of modern music. As stated in the previous paragraphs, mainstream radio is dying and people are going back to the old ways of discovering art, and the way that most are doing that is through YouTube.

Examples of Growing Artists and Genres

1.) Zach Bryan

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This rising country/folk musician began his musical journey on the internet when he posted a live solo version of his song “Heading South” on September 6th, 2019. Since that post, he has earned over 4 million views on YouTube and 7.5 million downloads on Spotify.

2.) Billy Strings

http://www.jambase.com

Combining the genres of bluegrass, folk, and metal, Billy Strings began his musical popularity when he posted a solo acoustic version of his song “Dust In A Baggie” on YouTube around a decade ago. That song randomly began appearing in people’s recommended during the start of 2020 and since then, that song has over 11 million views on YouTube and 3.5 million downloads on Spotify.

Electro Swing

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“The Roaring 20s are back!” This style of music originated before the 2020s but now that the time has finally come, this criminally underrated genre of music is enough to get you out of you chair and dance along. The old vinyl sound of the original swing songs mixed with the new wave of music production has turned thousands of people on with its creativity. Following this genre and originating in Germany, the style of Electro Swing dance has grown massively in popularity due to people being quarantined and dying of boredom. There are hundreds of electro swing playlists out there and dozens of 24/7 YouTube livestreams. Creativity has struck the eyes of many artists with this genre.

Go Out There and Explore!

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-MistaPige

Best Ways to Unwind for Men

Have you ever felt stressed out from a long days of work or having to constantly listen to your girl bitch about how you don’t pay enough attention to her? It sounds like you need to unwind buddy. Everybody needs their relaxation time, so here’s a list I comprised on how men can unwind in 2020.

1.) Become a woman

Angry woman screaming against her husband with his face deformed by the power of the scream kid101.com

Now YOU can be the bitch that’s constantly fishing for compliments and when your man realizes it, you can act petty and act like he’s the one that’s not giving you enough attention or compliments. It works every time. Or when you go out to eat, you can tell your man that you can pay for the meal and when he accepts, you’ll use that scenario down the line in a future argument that he wasn’t even caring or polite enough to pay for the meal that you specifically said that you’d pay for. It just works.

2.) Milk and Cigarettes

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What better combination on this planet is better than milk and cigarettes? From personal experience, I have learned that after a hard days of work, there is nothing better to unwind than to grab a large glass of whole milk and a pack of Marlboro Reds and let them carry my night away. The pure thickness of the whole milk combined with the smooth taste of smoke going into your lungs is like no other. By golly if that doesn’t convince ya, I don’t know what will.

3.) Breaking into a butcher shop

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You can’t beat YOUR meat because you’re too tired, so you get the idea to beat other peoples’. But because you’re not a homosexual, you break into your local butcher shop after hours and proceed to beat the SHIT out of the slabs of pig Rocky style. It’s like the only fight that you’re training for is the battle between you and your ever ending suffering. Except that this battle is happening already and there’s basically no hope. But hey, there’s meat in front of you and your hands are free so fuckin send it.

4.) Draw a Ship

I literally fucking drew this

When in doubt, draw a ship. That’s always been my motto ever since I first looked up how to draw a ship on YouTube because I was extremely bored and depressed. And yaknow what, I’m not as depressed as I was whenever I get into situations that involve ship drawings. I now use it as my marking symbol wherever I go. Zorro had a Z, I have a ship. So basically I’m more talented than Zorro.

5.) Just Don’t

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Just give up and accept it man. Your girl is gonna leave you sooner or later because they’re all fucking crazy. They won’t understand you and your reasoning because they all think the same when it comes to you. You should just go home and aimlessly watch useless YouTube videos on how to build a house with prehistoric tools. Or you could do what a lot of guys do, get obsessed with cars and put all of your investments towards a machine. Nobody except other lost car guys will care and you’ll just find yourself going down a rabbit hole of financial debt and fast food. Just go home, go to bed, and cry.

Accidental Racism

Have you ever found yourself dying on a street curb because you looked at an Asian man funny? They aren’t in your neighborhood that much so it was a shocker right? Well… It apparently is now. APPARENTLY people are considered racist because of cultural anomalies. Imagine this, you are an African American man living in a rough part of the city. It’s been months since you’ve seen any sign of an Asian around. You work nights and get off of your long 12 hour shift to go get some groceries for your beautiful woman waiting for you at home. While you’re at the grocery store in the vegetable isle, you hear a voice over your shoulder, “Hey Sir,are these tomatoes always this size and color over here?” You get frightened. The last time you remotely seen anything regarding Asian culture was when you watched the original Karate Kid with your woman months ago. You also realize that this situation is strange because if you went to Asia and asked the same question to some random local, they’d give the same response. You accidentally think racist thoughts in your head because of these types of situations.

I’ll give you a realistic example of accidental racism in children. Go back in time to elementary school and remember the time that your class was read “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” and the N word just came right out of left field? Our tiny minds weren’t familiar with the history behind that story and many of the white kids in the class have never heard that word before. As a result and kids being kids, they’d like to repeat things that they’d find new. On the ride with their parents home from school, they would start to describe what they learned in school and also describe their fellow African American classmates as the new word that they learned. Accidentally, that word and the racism that’s associated with it becomes a part of their lives forever.

So whether you’re at a Chinese restaurant and you can’t pronounce the menu items correctly or you’re dwelling on your past reactions towards a race group you haven’t seen in months. Everybody has accidentally had racist thoughts occur in their heads and if someone were to agree, they would be wrong because it is human nature to be surprised by something that is not a part of their everyday life. There is no need to be down on yourself about these things. It happens to the best of us. So the next time you’re at a Chinese restaurant thinking to yourself, “How in the absolute fuck is this pronounced?” Be aware in that moment that you are accidentally being racists towards the communist regime that is China.