THE GOO

In the evening while at the laundromat I found myself in a predicament. I had a pocket full of quarters and a hankering for a delicious treat, but to my surprise  all the candy machines were empty… all but one.

Upon further inspection of this specific machine I noticed that this was not a candy I could buy but instead a sticky mound I liked to call Goo. This gelatinous mess seemed to be the byproduct of really old melted candy and an ill maintained laundromat but nevertheless I grew fond of the Goo.

As weeks passed I’d visit the Goo and was in awe of its progression, it never got bigger or more disgusting, it just seemed to solidify more and more over time. The Goo gained a following over time as well it became very famous on several social media platforms, everyone was overjoyed that the Goo was sticking around. 

After a couple of months of this red Goo being the only thing in these candy machines I figured the Goo would never go away. It was reliable, but one sad night I found myself at the laundromat and as I went to check on my old friend the Goo was nowhere to be found, in its place SKITTLES!! I wouldn’t think it’s odd if they had filled the rest of the candy machines as well, however the only machine that has candy in it used to hold the Goo.

It’s my belief that the Goo is still there hiding just beneath the skittles which means two possible outcomes: one the skittles add to the Goo with the impending summer heat that’s coming our way or two enough people use their quarters to buy the skittles and uncover the illustrious Goo.

I know I’m romanticizing melted candy but it was a friend and I will always cherish the time we had together and I hope to see the Goo return in all its glory someday until then farewell old friend.

Blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

President Biden Signs New National Holiday Bill: Tuesday Feb. 22

Tuesday February 22nd becomes new National Holiday after bill signing goes wrong.

Tuesday February 22nd, or “TwosDay” as folks around the Internet have begun to call it do to its numerical pattern of 2/22/22, has officially become its own national holiday. The holiday however will not take up the “TwosDay” mantle but rather “Goof Day”.

The term Goof Day is typically used to describe a day of relaxation, fun, and “Goofing off”. The reason behind the selection of this name actually comes from an error that occurred during President Joe Biden’s recent signing of bill 2112 section 6 into law. The proposed bill would create stricter qualifications and a more thorough screening process for the approval of government aid programs like WICK. During the public signing however, President Biden was momentarily distracted by the attending press and actually signed Bill 2112 section 9 into law. This section of the bill was proposed by A member of the US Armed Forces, Leif Cassidy, and would officially recognize February 22nd as a National Holliday.

GoofDay as it is now being called will see the closures of Schools, Government Buildings, and all jobs not directly serving state administration. Banks however, will remain open. The bill claims the reason for this is due to, “people need a little extra dough to goof off now and days.”

Goof Day is quickly being used as a way to market Black Friday like sales, and cyber stores like the StyleRebelRadio.com Shop are already offering promotions up to 15% off with promo code “Goof”.

There is no current plan to reverse the ruling of this bill. We will continue to follow this story as it progresses.

-Style

Bees Aren’t Birds

Everybody loves bees and everybody LOVES birds though they work for the government. All everybody talks about is the birds and the bees and how they’re the bees knees but nobody talks about the bees and the birds and how they’re the birds knees. This is a scientific theses supported by bibliographic evidence on how western culture and society views bees as birds.

Instagram.com

I walked outside after a long day of cleaning the sofa. I wanted to unwind so I decided to chop some wood for the upcoming summer. After 2 swipes I couldn’t see too much because of the sweat drooping down my face. I decided to pull my hair back, tighten my kilt, and toughen up though the tears. “This is where the fun begins.”

Photodune.com

Oh right this is a post about bees and birds. The scientific evidence shows it all through the eyes of linguistic relativity. Bees and birds can be the same thing through the eyes of New Yorkers, considering they’ve never seen bees before. The prime difference between birds and bees is that birds do not have knees. Bees also have pollination abilities. No bird ever does that. Not one single bird is able to collect pollen and/or nectar. This is proof #1.

Instagram.com

Another distinguishable difference is that bees are blue collar while birds are living off of welfare. Many different types of bees build their own homes with motivation and craftsmanship while birds collect trash from the ground and steal from other organisms’ properties. This is proof #2.

Etsy.com

The final point of evidence lies on your vehicle’s hood and windshield. No bee has ever taken a dumb on your car right? Right? Well that should be enough to know that birds are the inferior species and they do not understand the systematic failure of corrupt government that we are experiencing as a democratic republic. All they do is buzz and have no thoughts. Birds think politics, not pollen.

Beavis and Butthead Returns

Series creator Mike Judge has confirmed the return of Beavis and Butthead.

Show creator Mike Judge has confirmed on Twitter the metal-loving duo of Beavis and Butthead will be making a triumphant return to the big screen in 2022 with a follow-up movie to the 1996 cult classic, Beavis and Butthead Do America. The film is set to be released on Paramount+ and will feature middle-aged versions of the dynamic-duo. Paramount+ is the same streaming service that ordered a new South Park special at the tail end of 2021 feature “adult versions” of all the main characters.

Judge accompanied his announcement with two character design sketches for Beavis and Butthead (below) with the caption, “They need some time to get back in shape.”

@MikeJudge -Twitter

This announcement follows one made by Judge back in 2020 describing his new deal with Comedy Central to seemingly reboot the series for two more seasons set in the modern era. With no date yet announced for either project, we eagerly look forward to seeing our two favorite degenerates on the screen once again.

Will the Beavis and Butthead movie be a precursor for the rumored new seasons on Comedy Central? Let us know what you think down below as well as in the WSRR Discord server!

-Style

Types of Chumps You Meet Hiking

As a somewhat experienced hiker myself. The general hiking crowd knows about these certain stereotypes and it rubs off on them in either positive or VERY negative ways. Most of these listed are going to follow the latter category, so enjoy.

1) The Yogi

Barefooters.org

Known as the most spiritual hikers out on the trail, these chumps usually have two reasons for being in the wilderness: they’re either looking for themselves or a new smoke spot. These free-going individuals usually spend extensive times in the woods even though they have a minimal home 30min-1hr away. To spot these chumps, look to see if they’re wearing shoes. If not, Yogi. Long dreads and tie-dye shirt? Yogi. Pungent stench? Either rock climber or Yogi. Climbers will be mentioned soon.

2.) Jesus Christ

123rf.com

These are one of the most common chumps you’ll bump into while hiking. It’s pretty straight forward and easy to recognize these guys. Running into more than 3 Jesus Christs while hiking is a pretty normal thing. Many that read these fit this category pretty well. You look like a Yogi, but we know you’re not. So stop being a FAKE.

3.) Enlisted/Vets

Local12.com

If you think you see Chris Kyle while hiking? Don’t worry. It’s just another identical looking military veteran. It’s pretty easy to spot these guys. Just look for the short hair, beard, and American flag patch on his S.O.G. Backpack. Sometimes they’re with kids, sometimes alone. If they’re still enlisted, check for their boots. They might still be the same ones issued to them on their last deployment.

4.) Commando!

The trek.com

We know that there’s a debate between practicality and health when it comes to not wearing your undies while hiking. What isn’t a debate however, is seeing a lot of asscheek and a lot of nipples poking through shirts while on populated trails. No hate on either end, but sometimes even an outdoorsman can witness too much.

5.) DJ KHALED!

Alamy.com

I don’t know how many times it has to be addressed. It IS rude to blast your music while hiking. Most hikers try to get away from the material world and you’re bringing them right back in by listening to modern era radio music. Most of the time, it’s either rap or pop that these chumps listen to and sometimes, you don’t even need to see them to know where they’re at. Take a breath once in a while, smell the fresh air, and enjoy the natural world.

6.) The Good Boy/Girl

Dailypaws.com

Being the most wholesome on the list, the Good Boy/Girl is always a pleasure to see while hiking. Many receive the biggest of treats and pets for staying on the trail or finding the biggest stick to give to their owner. Very few and very sad individuals dislike this category.

7.) The Ultra

Massultra.com

Being the most hardcore on the list, these chumps will smoke anybody on the trail to obtain their new PR. Training for months at a time for one race, these guys/gals will always be seen from afar wearing their running shorts, headphones, and fanny packs booking it up or down to the trailhead. Respect for doing it, but everything isn’t a competition. Some haven’t learned that yet.

8.) Insta Hoe

Fineartamerica.com

Located at the trailheads or 1/4 of the way through. These chumps are always paying attention to their social media following and sponsorships instead of the natural world. Being in either large groups or solo, it’s best to stay away from these chumps because they tend to be very extroverted and have little to no knowledge of the trail itself. Clout>beauty to them.

9.) Rock Climbers

Hiconsumption.com

You can find these sweaty chumps off trail and high up. These guys may also qualify as Yogis depending on how into it they are. Parking near the trailheads in their vans, they either reside solo as a Boulder bro or in groups as sport/trad nerds. They are either really quiet and awkward or way too extroverted (there’s no in between). They’re a cult and always talk about their pumps.

10.) The Geezer

Picfair.com

Being spotted as soon as the park opens, these chumps know everything about the history of the park and have been through almost every scenario that you bring up. They’ll pass you and very loudly say “Good Morning!” Then make a dad joke that’ll make you exhale loudly when you pass them. They are slower because of their age, but they have been doing it since 75 baby!

How To Get NFTs for FREE

So, You’ve got an extra $2000 that you want to throw away in a digital trash can rather than a physical. Enter NFT’s. You’ve been good, why not treat yourself to some metadata for a poorly rendered piece of “art”. But what’s this, you refused to pull out your net profit in crypto six months ago when it peaked and now find yourself in a constant battle with the refresh page button over your diminutive decimal point value? Not to worry my friend, even you can still get yourself some NFTs.

So what exactly is an NFT anyway? NFTs or Non-Fungible Tokens are more or less one-of-one digital “art” pieces that belong to a blockchain. What does that mean to you? Essentially you can be extra and own the data behind this artwork or media for bragging rights… I suppose. Once you buy an NFT it’s yours, no one else can buy that same blockchain unless you decide to sell it. NFTs can come in a multitude of media sources including, but not limited to, PNG files, GIFs, Videos, Jpeg files, etc.

But here’s the thing right… while it may be a weird niche flex to own the metadata and blockchain behind some little 8-bit sprite some dude on the internet likely created for next to nothing, at the end of the day you bought it because it looks cool. To clarify everything that is about to follow, in regards to the images and other media referenced, it is implied these will NOT be used for commercial or monetary use. The theoretical use of these images will be purely for the viewer’s own enjoyment.

Okay legal disclaimer aside, you buy NFTs ultimately because you like how they look. Now think back to your first iPod touch. You downloaded that generic wallpaper app and went to town downloading and screen-shoting every dope looking design under the sun. To that vein, what is honestly stopping you from taking a picture or downloading the media file of an NFT? If strictly for your own enjoyment why not? You don’t plan on selling it so that aspect is out the window. It’s digital artwork that can been seen on the vast, readily available resource that is the internet. If the reason you want to buy an NFT is to have some little animated computer generated image to yourself, take a picture man. No need to shell out $2,000 for something that is restricted to a digital platform. Hell, Print it out for all I care. Below is an example of a PNG file I have created… yeah I made it just to cover any other bases here… feel free to take a picture or download it to your liking. For all intensive purposes this is an NFT, I am the only one who possesses the coding and metadata file this was made on.

PNG made by Yours Truly Via Spark… For Free

On second thought, If you’d like to pay me $450 for that, I’m willing to talk.

-Style

(This is a satirical piece written for StylesRebelRadio.com)

Real Life Dumb and Dumber MiniBike to Aspen

Dumb & Dumber is one of the most infamous comedies of the last few decades and for good reason. Either idolized or despised by the viewing audience, the classic has stood the test of time and remains one of the most well known and quotes movies to date. Being able to quote the film seamlessly is almost commonplace in society now and days, what’s not however, is attempting the infamous mini bike trip… until now.

RevZilla’s Common Trend members Ari Henning and Zack Courts recreated the 350+ mile journey from Nebraska to Aspen on their very own custom built, scale mini bike replica! The pull-start bike complete with streamers and basket was just the start however, the whole journey wouldn’t have been worth it without bringing along a suitcase! The team researched the most probable rout the dynamic duo could’ve traveled, mapped it out, and headed for the Rockies!

The journey was not without its challenges as one may suspect, the team blowing out two back tires from the pressure of the trip. The small unstable frame of the bike made for a difficult time navigating through high wind speeds and curves while trying to remain stable. More issues the pair encountered can be found in their account of the trip and the process leading up to it here on RevZilla, where they also detail a few encounters with the law.

Photo from: Dumb & Dumber Wiki

The guys made the long hull to Aspen, “Some place warm, a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano”, proving the ridiculous completely possible. Dressed head to toe in their best Harry and Lloyd attire, Briefcase in hand, and a “hog” that’ll get 70, or at least close to, miles to the gallon! Let’s just hope they didn’t do it all for a girl named Mary!

You can watch the full video of the trip below courtesy of RevZilla’s Youtube Page as well as get the full breakdown of the trip and all the stops along the way on their webpage!

We just have one more question, was John Denver a load of shit, man?

-Style

Bizarre Items from Musicians that Sold for Ridiculous Amounts of Money

How much would you be willing to pay for an authentic item from your favorite musician? A guitar pick caught in concert, a shirt, scarf, autograph, or even an instrument itself are all commonplace among collectors in the music world. However what about personal, and every day items you wouldn’t necessarily associate with your favorite act. Believe it or not, some of the highest closing auctions for musicians belong to some of the most unique items that may seem like nothing more than common trash to some. Well, one mans trash is another’s treasure they say, and with that in mind here are just a few of the most bizarre items that sold for ridiculous amounts of money at auction.

Justin Timberlake’s French Toast

If you had to re-read that we don’t blame you! Yes, this is correct. All the way back in the year 2000, Justin had just finished a morning interview on New York based radio station Z-100 where he was served a French toast breakfast. According to Ew.com, the morning show host then listed the remaining slices on eBay where they sold at auction for a whopping $1,025. The winner was a 19 year old student who claims she would “probably freeze-dry it, then seal it…then put it on my dresser”. We hate to burst her bubble, but I got French toasts this morning at Denny’s for $7.

Jerry Lee Lewis’s Ointment

Photo: Julien’s Auctions

Typically people don’t want the possession of their own ointment to be public knowledge, let alone someone else’s! But, what if that some else is “the killer” himself? The auction containing a tube of nasal ointment and two empty prescription pill bottles belonging to the wild child himself ended at $384. A substantial amount of money for something that I’m sure we could categorize as medical waste of you ask me. Even more intreating, the items were put up for auction by Lewis’s Ex-wife.

William Shatner’s Kidney Stone

Photo: GoldenPalace.com

The spoken word artist is no stranger to the occasional online auction, His Star Trek costumes reaching over $100,000 at times. However, in 2006 Shatner himself took to Julien’s Auctions to list his “sizable” kidney stone in an effort to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. Offering a substantial $25,000, the auction was won by GoldenPalace.com, an online casino. Additionally, the casino initially offered $15,000 which Shatner turned down! Clearly William knows exactly what “a piece of him” is worth!

Britney Spears’s Pregnancy Test

Photo: The Sun

There’s obsessive and then there’s down right creepy. While none of these items have been particularly “normal” to want in your collection, we can’t help but think this the next level. Fortunately for our sanity, the piss stick was taken by GoldenPalace.com in 2005 to add to their ever-growing collection of “oddities”. That being said the online casino rolled out an impressive $5,001 for charity on this one. Surprisingly snagging the item a lot cheaper than a piece of Britney’s used gum that went for $14,000 and didn’t even include a COA.

Elvis’s Backgammon Board

Photo: Julien’s Auctions

Next time you are convinced nobody plays Backgammon, just remember The King himself was an avid player who even took his travel board with him. That same travel board would find its way to auction in 2016 closing at $1,024. A few rounds of high stakes backgammon and the buyer will have his money back in no time!

Six Strands of Kurt Cobain’s Hair

Photo: IconicAuctions.com

Capping off our list with the most recent addition to the auction block. Over the weekend of May 15th 2021, Six strands of Kurt Cobain’s hair sold for $14,145. Notably, the hair in question was accompanied by an official COA as well as a photograph of the seller with the late Nirvana frontman during the haircut. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Nirvana as much as the next guy, but I’m not going balls to the walls to showcase 6 strands of hair. In that vein, if you’ve got the money I’ve got a haircut coming up soon!

Would you break out the checkbook for any of these items? What’s the weirdest music memorabilia you’ve seen up for sale? Let us know down below! Make sure to follow along for more and check out all our other blogs right here!

-Style

https://www.bbc.co.uk/music/articles/4e641c9b-1a1f-4b07-9201-5843854aaa25

https://www.nme.com/photos/23-of-the-weirdest-things-sold-on-ebay-by-rock-stars-or-in-the-name-of-music-1422967?ampm

https://www.juliensauctions.com/

The Rebel Podcast to be EXCLUSIVELY on Last.fm

The Rebel Podcast and all future podcasting projects form StylesRebelRadio.com to be Exclusively Streamed on Last.fm

As of April 1st 2021, StylesRebelRadio.com have come to an agreement with Last.fm stating all future podcasts will be streamed exclusively on their service. Last.fm has been making waves in the music streaming game since their humble beginnings in 2002. Over recent years, the company has begun to tap into the podcast market as the growing interest in the format continues to rise. The Rebel Podcast plans to remove all streaming avenues by mid to late April in favor of their exclusive deal with Last.fm.

What You Need To Know

•The Rebel Podcast will continue to be released on Wednesday’s but at a new time of 11pm Est.

•All future podcasts and audio product produced by StylesRebelRadio.com will also be used exclusive to Last.fm

•Style will be stepping back as host of the show in favor of a newly appointed personality, yet to be named.

Most Importantly

April fools.

-Style

Scholastic Book Fair

…but for adults

I’d imagine that the adult scholastic book fair would possibly offer a wide range of different categories of books, magazines, planners, and adult coloring books like the ones with the swear words. As well as tiny do dad’s similar to the chocolate bar calculator, drum stick pencils, and slap bracelet rulers but more like a small dehumidifier, google homes, and maybe small DIY kits.

The book categories:

• Romance novels

• Pornographic magazines

• Pre-mentioned adult coloring books

• All the Harry Potters of course

• Planners

• Writing prompt books

• Anime items

• Political genre

• And many more

I do believe that an adult scholastic book fair would be amazing, do it in the same style as well like it would be a pop-up shop in your local library or even better a pop-up at your nearest Barnes and Nobel.

In truest scholastic book fair fashion all the proceeds would go to something good, but have I put that much thought into this, no.

Anyway I will always be mentally at the scholastic book fair and I will not rest until I get to go to another one.

Blog by Julez For Styles Rebel Radio