I Lost My Job Over Salt

I remember it like it was yesterday, I was working as an assistant to the owner of a multimillion dollar enterprise. I was in charge of keeping the house in order, providing council, and most importantly I was entrusted with keeping some of the biggest secrets not only in the company but the city as well. As a very highly respected and beloved member of the community my boss Bruce depended on me in order help keep his affairs in order for his day to day life. This wasn’t any ordinary job for me, I wasn’t simply a housekeeper or a live in, this was my life’s work.

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It was crisp fall evening when I brought in the abnormally large stack of mail from the box. As I handed it off to my boss I awaited for him to return the letters he had deemed important to file away. He opened up an envelope embroidered in elaborate detail including a golden seal completing the ensemble. When he had finished reading the letter, he glanced up at me and cracked a coy smile. Informing me he had been invited to an elegant dinner tonight courtesy of some of the town’s highest entrepreneurs, he handed me the paper and retreated to his quarters to get ready. When he emerged from his room, he suddenly halted in his tracks. Looking directly at me in confused manner, Bruce exclaimed, “Well what are you waiting for we have to get going!” Unbenounced to me, he had expected me to join him on this outing. Quicky I raced to my room and threw on my best suit before joining my boss in the car.

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Arriving at the restaurant, we took our seats across the table from one another as the waitress began to take drink orders. We sat among some of the most powerful men in the entire city. I listened intently as my boss discussed business strategy and marketing techniques to his fellow entrepreneurs. As our drinks arrived the conversation swelled. An hour had passed seamlessly as our food began to arrive. Conversation ceased as we all began to indulge in the five star meal we had received. A phenomenal blend of seafood and pasta the flavor was exquisite, except for one thing. It needed salt. I glanced over the table to find the salt shaker sitting just right of my boss Bruce on the other side of the table.Slowly my nerves began to build as I did not want to speak out of turn and offset the wondrous evening. Composing myself I had finally worked up enough courage inside to ask for the salt. Slowly setting down my fork I uttered the words that would ultimately haunt me for the rest of my life. Over the silent table full of the most powerful men in town I calmly muttered, “Batman, could you pass the salt?” Everyone’s utensils dropped and mouths fell agape in awe. The most important secret I have ever been in charge of keeping was out. Bruce Wayne quickly got up and made a B-line for his car.

Sick Chirpse

Two weeks later after having no contact I receive my termination letter in the mailbox of my decrepit hotel room located underneath the highway to the airport. Last I heard, he had hired some guy named Alfred to take my place.

-Style

10 top odd ball jobs durning covid 19

*ALEXA PLAY MONEY BY PINK FLOYD

As we all know 2020 hasn’t been the nicest to us left some of us jobless laid off and maybe even bankrupt so I’m here bringing you the 10 top odd ball jobs during this tragic time

1. Screener, some hospitals are hiring Valet Drivers to sit in front of doors take temperatures before they enter the hospital you don’t need to be extremely qualified for this job they require that you have a high school diploma or higher you don’t need any specific license most places hire 10-14 dollars an hour depending on the shift no experience required you basically just sit and greet people and take they’re temp

Image found on Metrohealth.com

2. Only Fans, since this all went down we’ve gotten a wave of Horny a lot of ladies are starting this new hip site called “Only Fans” they’re taking explicit pictures and videos of themselves and selling them on this site for a bit of side cash now a lot of these ladies are making quite some money I’ve seen some ladies making 25-500 dollars a month it goes by month and you have to wait now this job isn’t only just for the ladies men have made some decent bank I myself have tried it out if your comfortable with yourself why not give it a shot not Only Fans but porn hub as well they are paying by the views of the video so get to fucking and make that bank

I know what you’re thinking go ahead and make some Loveee
EVERYDAY IS HUMP DAY IF YOU WANNA MAKE $$$

3. Mask Makers, people found out how easy it was to make masks and they now selling them about 5$ a pop at the comfort of they’re own home some people are selling them at local stores and gas stations they’re making them out of old clothing and old blankets I feel bad for the thrift stores after all this is over they’re going to be flooded with someone’s arts and crafts if you wanna start making masks it’s pretty simple and I’m sure someone will buy that work of art

Image found on Google images

4. Stay at home beautician, okay so if we’re all supposed to be social distancing and not supposed to go anywhere please tell me why theres people out there creating a business don’t get me wrong I’m not knocking the hustle get that money but I will say this if you’re going to make up your own business take a second to think is my certification up to date? am I sanitary enough for this? But with everything closing early and the restrictions you have to go threw just to get your feet and nails done you could make some decent money I’d say about 250-500 depending how many people wanna stop in to your homemade shop also would depend how much you charge so make sure you’re prices aren’t to jacked up! You should probably charge cheaper anyway since you’re doing it at home

Image found on Naillovers.com

5, HOMEMADE TATTOO SHOP, some artist are working from home they don’t like sitting in the shop and figured they’d make more money by staying at home they have they’re own personal shop set up some artist make a lot of money doing this tattoos are in a high demand plus it’s an easy pack up and go job you grab you’re equipment and head on the road again gotta make sure you’re license is up to date and everything is sanitary most artists charge by tattoo but I’m sure they’re going to charge a tad bit more because they have to be up to standard a lot of the equipment sky rocketed because shops have been closed you can average 35-500 dollars per tattoo I’d say but that’s depending on what you want done PLEASE DON’T tattoo if you don’t have a license and don’t do the stick and poke thing

Image found on Jake Schrader’s Facebook

6. Home Nursing Aide, now this one isn’t so odd but it’s going on this list because it’s a simple job that makes a lot of money for no reason also with all this covid 19 going on nurses are front line they have to be ready to GO in any situation but there’s company’s out there thatll pay you to drive to house to house and take care of elders most places will pay you drive time with that hefty check most places make 17-20 dollars an hour all you have todo is make sure the elder doesn’t fall and make sure they’re okay a lot of places are over night i don’t know who would wanna stay over night at a strangers house but it is what it is you’ll probably need to be first aid certified and have a high school diploma I do know there’s a major need for them right now because no one wants to be front line so go save a miserable life and feel food about yourself

Found on Cleveland Clinic

7. Amazon, another one that’s not odd but I’ve been seeing it everywhere in ads on posters in my spam email I’m not sure what’s going on with amazon but they’re desperately hiring 18.00 no experience needed they’re hiring for both driving and Wearhouse nothing needed but a drug test everyone seems to be taking this job I don’t know what’s so good about it but it’s filling up pretty quick I’m not to sure how true this is but I hear you get a discount when ordering online if you work there so why not fill out that app and find out yourself

Image Found on Amazon

8. Unemployment Checks, depending how long you’ve been out of work and how much you’ve made the government passed a 600 dolor check for laid off employees from what I know it’s pretty complicated to get on unemployment but I know that’s a lot of money sitting at the comfort of your home it kinda messes with the on the line jobs but hey it helps out family’s and puts bread on the table I’m not sure how much longer it’s going to be going for but from my research it’s sticking around a lot longer than we all expected I know they just signed a thing saying they’re investing more money into it but if you wanna sit on the phone on hold for a million hours and or deal with the governments shitty website give it a shot it’s gotta he the easiest money ever made

Image found on Google Images

9. Stimulus check “second round” a lot of people haven’t gotten the first round or they just got it well I’d love to inform you we’re in the works of getting a second round that’ll help out a shit ton of people as long as you filed taxes you can get it this is probably the best thing that 2020 offered they’re playing with peoples heads but I do firmly believe it’s coming just don’t blow it on things you don’t need people took this money and blew threw it we got this money to keep us on our feet while this is going down so don’t go wasting it that’s probably why we didn’t get a second round yet they’re probably thinking do we really deserve it?

Found on google images

10. Babysitting & Teachers , Schools have been closed for some time now dang I wish this could of been around when I went to school I had to skip these kids now a days don’t know what they got kids are actually missing school and that’s saying something but anyway while your starting up your fancy business or filling out that handy handy job application you don’t want screaming annoying kids around go ahead and get yourself a baby sitter I know teachers are starting up they’re own personal business and doing homeschooling making sure America don’t get stupid they’re pulling in about 50$ here and there id imagine they’re going by hour but it’s cool that teachers will spare they’re free time just todo that!

Well now that you have some job ideas go out there stop reading this and make some cash you filthy hobo! you’re friends can’t support you forever or can they 🙂