I’m going to start off by saying this is not a religious point of view for me, and i’m not quite keen on the no sex before marriage speech being preached at children or even young adults. I do believe that sex should be an open conversation in all households whether you’re religious or not give your opinion.
In the social media age we live in there is no telling what kids and teens are seeing on their instagram and twitter feeds now with only fans and things like that. Teens especially need more guidance then what their so called role models are saying on tv and on their social media.
So I am here to have the conversation that a lot of parents are not willing to have the “are you ready for sex” talk…
There are no rules about how long you have to be dating or together with someone before deciding to have sex with them. Being ready for sex happens at different times for everyone don’t just have sex because your friends or partner is pressuring you.
Sex and the Law
The law says it is legal to agree or consent to sex from the age 16. If you’re under 16, you can get confidential contraceptive and sexual health services, including advice about an unplanned pregnancy.
If you’re under 13, the situation is different because the law says you can’t consent to any sexual activity at this age.
When to have sex
Figuring out when to have sex is one of the biggest decisions you can make in your life. you are the only person who can and should make the decision.
Just because you have had sex before, even with the same person, doesn’t mean you have to do it again.
How to talk about sex
It’s better to have an embarrassing talk about sex than an embarrassing sexual experience before you’re ready.
There are lots of things to think and talk about, such as:
- Are you both ready?
- Will you be having sex for the right reasons, and not because of peer pressure or partner pressure?
- Do you have contraception sorted?
Sex isn’t the only aspect of a relationship, and there are other ways of enjoying each other’s company. Discuss what you want and what you don’t want to do.
You can do other things you both like, such as talking, meeting each other’s family and friends, going to the movies, attending sporting events, walking, and listening to music.
The questions to ask yourself about sex
You need to have the confidence to work out how you want to respond if sex comes up and how far to go. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable.
Is it the right time, in the right place, and with the right person? Do you really trust the person, and do you feel the same way about one another?
If you think you might have sex, ask yourself the following questions:
- Does it feel right?
- Do I love my partner?
- Does he/she love me just as much?
- Have we talked about using condoms to prevent STIs and HIV, and was the talk OK?
- Have we got contraception organised to protect against pregnancy?
- Do I feel able to say “no” at any point if I change my mind, and will we both be OK with that?
If you answer yes to all these questions, the time may be right.
But if you answer yes to any of the following questions, it might not be:
- Do I feel under pressure from anyone, such as my partner or friends?
- Could I have any regrets afterwards?
- Am I thinking about having sex just to impress my friends or keep up with them?
- Am I thinking about having sex just to keep my partner?
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex. Even if you have done it once or twice, you still need to make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend is as keen as you are each time.
How do I bring up the subject of safer sex?
When you decide to have sex, there’s the possibility of pregnancy, catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) such as chlamydia, or both.
Whoever you’re thinking of having sex with, it’s important to talk about contraception and condoms before you have sex. Both of you have a responsibility to have this conversation.
Starting a conversation about the different types of contraception could be a good way to start talking about other issues to do with sex, such as how you feel about it and what you do and don’t want to do.
You could try saying: “I found out there are 15 different types of contraception … If we were to have sex, which one should we use?”
Researching the options together will help both of you feel more confident and in control of the situation.
Find out about the 15 different kinds of contraception
You can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion at any time.
Visit your local doctor, community contraceptive clinic, sexual health clinic, or young persons’ clinic.
Call the national sexual health helpline on (300) 123-7123 for details.
Find your local sexual health services
Using condoms
You need to use condoms to reduce the risk of catching an STI, including HIV, whoever you’re having sex with.
I’m going to start off by saying this is not a religious point of view for me, and i’m not quite keen on the no sex before marriage speech being preached at children or even young adults. I do believe that sex should be an open conversation in all households whether you’re religious or not give your opinion.
In the social media age we live in there is no telling what kids and teens are seeing on their instagram and twitter feeds now with only fans and things like that. Teens especially need more guidance then what their so called role models are saying on tv and on their social media.
So I am here to have the conversation that a lot of parents are not willing to have the “are you ready for sex” talk…
There are no rules about how long you have to be dating or together with someone before deciding to have sex with them. Being ready for sex happens at different times for everyone don’t just have sex because your friends or partner is pressuring you.
Sex and the Law
The law says it is legal to agree or consent to sex from the age 16. If you’re under 16, you can get confidential contraceptive and sexual health services, including advice about an unplanned pregnancy.
If you’re under 13, the situation is different because the law says you can’t consent to any sexual activity at this age.
When to have sex
Figuring out when to have sex is one of the biggest decisions you can make in your life. you are the only person who can and should make the decision.
Just because you have had sex before, even with the same person, doesn’t mean you have to do it again.
How to talk about sex
It’s better to have an embarrassing talk about sex than an embarrassing sexual experience before you’re ready.
There are lots of things to think and talk about, such as:
- Are you both ready?
- Will you be having sex for the right reasons, and not because of peer pressure or partner pressure?
- Do you have contraception sorted?
Sex isn’t the only aspect of a relationship, and there are other ways of enjoying each other’s company. Discuss what you want and what you don’t want to do.
You can do other things you both like, such as talking, meeting each other’s family and friends, going to the movies, attending sporting events, walking, and listening to music.
The questions to ask yourself about sex
You need to have the confidence to work out how you want to respond if sex comes up and how far to go. Ask yourself if you feel comfortable.
Is it the right time, in the right place, and with the right person? Do you really trust the person, and do you feel the same way about one another?
If you think you might have sex, ask yourself the following questions:
- Does it feel right?
- Do I love my partner?
- Does he/she love me just as much?
- Have we talked about using condoms to prevent STIs and HIV, and was the talk OK?
- Have we got contraception organised to protect against pregnancy?
- Do I feel able to say “no” at any point if I change my mind, and will we both be OK with that?
If you answer yes to all these questions, the time may be right.
But if you answer yes to any of the following questions, it might not be:
- Do I feel under pressure from anyone, such as my partner or friends?
- Could I have any regrets afterwards?
- Am I thinking about having sex just to impress my friends or keep up with them?
- Am I thinking about having sex just to keep my partner?
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex. Even if you have done it once or twice, you still need to make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend is as keen as you are each time.
How do I bring up the subject of safer sex?
When you decide to have sex, there’s the possibility of pregnancy, catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI) such as chlamydia, or both.
Whoever you’re thinking of having sex with, it’s important to talk about contraception and condoms before you have sex. Both of you have a responsibility to have this conversation.
Starting a conversation about the different types of contraception could be a good way to start talking about other issues to do with sex, such as how you feel about it and what you do and don’t want to do.
You could try saying: “I found out there are 15 different types of contraception … If we were to have sex, which one should we use?”
Researching the options together will help both of you feel more confident and in control of the situation.
Find out about the 15 different kinds of contraception
You can get free and confidential advice about sex, contraception and abortion at any time.
Visit your local doctor, community contraceptive clinic, sexual health clinic, or young persons’ clinic.
Call the national sexual health helpline on (300) 123-7123 for details.
If you’re in a boy/girl couple, you should use an additional form of contraception to prevent an unintended pregnancy.
Choosing the right contraception
There are 15 different kinds of contraception, including the implant, the injection, the combined pill, and the progestogen-only pill.
Most kinds of contraception are used by girls, but both of you have a responsibility to talk about this: a pregnancy will affect both of you.
Lesbian, gay or bisexual sex
If you have lesbian, gay or bisexual sex, it’s important to use a condom every time as you can still get or pass on STIs, including HIV.
You also need to know about contraception in case you have straight sex as well.
Reading the signs they want sex
Many people are surprised when a situation leads to sex, so learn to read the signs.
If someone suggests you find a quiet place, makes lots of physical contact, or suddenly tries to charm and flatter you, they might be thinking about sex, even if you’re not.
You need to decide whether you want to have sex. Don’t let someone else decide for you by just going along with it.
Make the decision in advance and stay in control of the situation, especially if you have had alcohol as you’ll be less inhibited.
If you’re not sure you can stay in control, avoid situations that could lead to sex, such as going to someone’s room or somewhere quiet.
Alcohol won’t help
Many people have sex or lose their virginity when they have been drinking.
After a few drinks, you’re more likely to lose your judgement and may do things you wouldn’t do normally.
You may regret your actions in the morning, and you won’t be able to undo what you have done.
People are also more likely to have sex without a condom when they’re drunk. This can lead to an STI or unintended pregnancy.
Teen Pregnancy
In 2017, a total of 194,377 babies were born to women aged 15–19 years, for a birth rate of 18.8 per 1,000 women in this age group. This is another record low for U.S. teens and a drop of 7% from 2016. Birth rates fell 10% for women aged 15–17 years and 6% for women aged 18–19 years.
When most teens are telling their parents they are having sex is when they are telling them that they are pregnant.
It is possible that having a conversation about sex with your parents will help avoid this because they might be able to help provide you with protection and better yet they may provide you with advice on the subject and guide you to make your own decisions on the matter.
I believe that if you’re planning on having sex you’re going to find a way to do it whether your parents are supportive or not, but if you are better prepared and know the consequences and take the steps to avoid them you will be okay.
Blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio
Style's Rebel Radio 