The Trick To Buying Booze Past 10pm

Ohio State Governor Mike DeWine has issued an emergency ruling stating that the sale of alcohol in bars and restaurants will be limited to 10pm. Should this ruling be approved by The Ohio Liquor Control Commision, it will be put into effect July 31st 2020. Not only will this proposal ban the sale of alcohol past 10pm but it also declares that any previously served beverages are to be finished by the 11 o’clock hour. Many citizens of Ohio as well as surrounding states now fear the removal of alcohol sales from gas stations as well as the closure of state liquor stores.

Cincinnati Enquirer

So now what, you get off work after a long day and want to sit down and grab a drink with a couple buddies, low and behold there isn’t a place within 100 miles that will provide you the alcohol. Fear not, there is an alternative! I’ve compiled a handful of ways of ensure you will still be able to get plastered while Mike DeWine leveys for prohibition!

Mashed.com

1.What About Mouthwash?

YouTube

When it comes down to it you can’t beat the classics. Trevor Moore put it best, “You don’t need ID to buy it and you can’t show up too late”. While we here at StylesRebelRadio.com in no way support underage drinking, mouthwash has been known to deliver in large quantities to consenting adults. Don’t forget that minty fresh breath!

2. Rub It In, Rub It In

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Cracking open a first aid kit with the boys? Hell it is in the name! Desperate times call for desperate measures why not clean up your boo boos on the inside as well as the out! Just keep the number for poison control near by.

3. Clean Up Before She Comes

Photo by Uva Rova on Pexels.com

Look good, smell good, feel good. Cologne typically contains alcohol somewhere between 50 and 90 percent! On the flip side of that if you’ve ever had to get all gussied up in a hurry, you can probably vouge for the fact no matter how good it may smell, cologne will never taste as good.

4. At Least It’s Clean… Right?

Photo by Lucas Pezeta on Pexels.com

Alright now hear me out, Windshield wiper fluid contains methanol as a prime ingredient. Methanol is actually an extreme industrial alcohol , so yes.. this would get you pretty plastered. I mean hell, Juul pods contain the same chemical components as antifreeze and people actually smoke those!

If you’ve made it to this section of the article I’d assume you are smart enough to not try any of these. I don’t think I really need to but just in case there was any doubt, This article is entirely satirical and noting listed above should ever be consumed in any fasit. Neither I, Nor anybody at StylesrebelRadio.com condone any form of underage drinking or the consumption of any of the items listed above. As always, drink responsibly.

-Style

https://www.alcohol.org/alcoholism/household-products-abuse/ https://abc6onyourside.com/news/local/ohio-governor-proposes-10-pm-last-call-for-alcohol-in-bars-and-restaurants

Mandatory Mask Mandate Loopholes

If you are in the hefty majority of states whose governors have now decided they are above the lawmaking process and have deemed the use of masks “mandatory” by their own orders, fear not! While these mandates are NOT laws and cannot be upheld as such, there are still many ill informed people who believe they are and will not hesitate to call the hotline in hopes some higher power will tyrannically fine you. So, for those of you who didn’t sleep through US Gov. class in highschool but are sick of those pesky Karen’s giving you “the look”, I have complied some alternative options you can use to stick it to the Karens while still following the “Mandatory” mask mandates.

First things first let’s examine (for the state of OH) what this mask mandate entails. According to News5Cleveland.com, ”┬áMike DeWine issued an order Tuesday making masks mandatory for counties in the state where the rampant spread of coronavirus continues to be a rising threat…It will be mandatory for those out in public to wear a mask under the following circumstances:
-When they are in any indoor location that is not a residence.
-When they are outside and unable to maintain a six-foot distance from those not in their household.
-When they are riding or driving in public transportation or ride-sharing.”

Alright cool, now that that’s out of the way, we also need to address that the following parties have been excluded from this mandate: Children Under the age of 10, Anyone with a pre existing medical condition that could be affected by the use of a mask,anyone communicating with the hearing impaired, or anyone working from a home office.

The last thing we need to clarify is the definition of a “mask”. Oxford Dictionary defines a mask as,” covering for all or part of the face”. With that in mind, we now proceed to your alternate options/loopholes for the mask mandates.

1. Gimpin’ Ain’t Easy

soundcloud.com

Alright, let’s run it down! The gimp mask 100% complies with the definition of a full or partial face covering. Perfect for complete and utter domination in the bedroom or just grabbing a bite to eat at your local Sheetz. Time to check out? No problem! Simply unzip the mouth covering for easy and unmuffled communication.

2.Wazzzzzzzuppppp

Wbal-TV

What’s your favorite Scary Movie? Face covering, Check. While it might not be the most convenient for airflow purposes, the rubber features will provide you with a scent that harkens back to a cool crisp Halloween night in October of 2008. Just don’t be seen around an all star cast of high schoolers and TV news crew.

3. War.. War never changes.

9Gag

In the case of a real global pandemic, there is no greater benefactor than the classic gas mask. The gas mask is a full face covering ventilator that allows the filtration of clean compressed air. A stable of every post apocalyptic, dystopian, or doom stricken future movie, game, or show, you simply cannot have a global apocalypse without the gas mask. In all actuality, this is what you would actually need to wear should a killer virus with a high mortality rate were to occur.

4. Follow The Buzzard

Tom Banwell Designs

Not only does it cover your face, you gain a rockin beak with a leather smell! The black plague saw the rise of the plague doctor mask, and if they can handle that, they can handle the “pandemic” that everyone has seemingly forgot was supposedly caused by a bat.

5. Somebody Stop Me!

PicClick

Try and tell me I don’t have a mask, and witness me whip out the 1994 Jim Carrey The Mask! Like the Frank’s Red Hot lady, I’ve always got that thang on me! Now… when it comes to covering your face it’s quite a simple fix, like the old montra goes, Duct Tape fixes everything.

6. Dial It Up

ElementGaming Via YouTube.com

Onto my personal favorite, as well as one I’ve actually used, The Luchador mask. Face covering? Yep! Always remember your face is not your mouth. I can speak from personal experience that not only does it meet the qualifications of being a mask, asking to remove a luchadores mask is one of the most insulting and disrespectful things you can do in as in Lucha culture masks represent honor and often heritage.

-Style