Picture it, it’s a lazy friday afternoon after dinner, you saunter into the living room an plop down on the couch next to your dad. As you gaze upon the television you see your father looking through the guide menu on TV Land™. As the previous show fades to black you hear the familiar opening of Everybody Loves Raymond.
The episode opens on Raymond on the couch watching an episode of Andy Griffith. “Maaaaaa!”, Ray exclaims as he polishes off a bowl of chips, “Do we have any more chips?” However before Marie can answer she is interrupted by Debra bursting through the door in tears. As Raymond jumps from the couch startled, Debrah explains how the bank is defaulting on their mortgage and they are in danger of being evicted.
After a sleepless night of pondering Ray decides to ask his boss if there are any position openings that would allow him to pick up some extra shifts. Raymond’s boss informs him that there is an opening for a columnist to cover a statewide high school baseball tournament in New York. Without any logical thought Ray agrees to take the position and informs his family they must relocate to the big apple.
Upon arriving at the family’s new home after an exhausting and tense car ride Ray, Debra and the kids make their way inside and await the arrival of their furniture from the moving company. However after several hours of waiting Ray decides to call the movers to figure out where their stuff is. The company informs Raymond that the movers had an incident with the truck and all of the families belongings would be intercepted by a local delivery company in the morning. Much to his chagrin, Ray curled up on the floor for the night and drifted off to sleep. Waking up the following morning at precisely 8:23AM to a knock on the door, Ray is greeted by a stocky man in a green IPS uniform. The man introduces himself as Doug Heffernan, a delivery driver for IPS who was responsible for intercepting the family’s furniture.
After a generous effort to help Ray move in, the two men begin talking and come to find they have many common interests including golf and excessive drinking. Doug tells Raymond that he won two free tickets to a comedy show tonight in a work raffle and asks if he’d like to go since his wife, Carrie, isn’t interested. Ray agrees to go and the two plan to meet up at a local coffee shop before the show.
Ray arrives first and decides to head inside and grab a quick cup of coffee before they head out. Walking into Central Perk, Ray walks across a group of Friends who are discussing the definition of “a break” rather loudly. Choosing not to get involved and seeing Doug approaching through the window, Ray decides to head out.
Upon arriving at the comedy club the two order an excessive amount if drinks and watch the opening act. By the time the main act is ready to take the stage, both men have grown increasingly intoxicated and obnoxious. The host announces the main act, Jerry Seinfeld, as he takes the stage. Only halfway through the act Jerry has to stop mid performance and ask security to please escort the men out of the club for their obscene behavior.
After receiving a police escort back to Ray’s house the two exit the cop car to find that Ray’s water heater had burst sendong it shooting up from his basement, through his living room, and out his roof landing in the front yard. Ray finds a note taped to the door explaining the Debra and the kids would be spending the night in a nearby motel until the water heater was fixed. Raymond spends all night contacting every plumber and contractor in the area only to find nobody is willing to take the job due to the immense amount of damage. With nowhere left to turn, Ray calls Doug and asks if he has any ideas. Doug tells him he recalls seeing a show on TV about a handyman who claims he could fix it all. Ray decides he has nothing else to lose and gives him a call.
The following morning Tim “The Toolman” Taylor arrives at the house agreeing to fix the damage. After several hours of muttering meaningless and confusing grunts that are audible across several towns, Tim is finally finished with the house. As a sign of appreciation Ray offers to buy excessive amounts of drinks at the local bar for Tim. Doug joins them as he too enjoys irresponsible consumption.
At the end of the night, Ray arrives back at his house in a golf cart that him and Doug somehow acquired thought the evening. Staggering inside, he collapses on the couch and turns on the television. Ray proceeds to pass out watching Andy Griffith on TV Land™.
Fade to black.
-Style
Style's Rebel Radio 