How To Fix The Olympics

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When was the last time you purposely watched The Olympics? Honestly, I now I can’t remember, But why is that? The Olympics are boring, plain and simple. The grand event watched the whole world over just hasn’t been able to capture an audience since Kurt Angle won a gold medal with a “broken Freak’n Neck.” However, that does not have to be the case, Here is my solution to fixing The Olympics.

1. One for all

Rather than having each participating nation bring along a team of hockey players, wrestlers, curlers, etc. Each nation should pick ONE national team of 25 people (including injury substitutes) to participate in all the events. Think of it, it becomes less of a competition of who can assemble a better team for each event, and more a competition of who has the overall most talented and versatile citizens.

2. Home-field advantage

Each Olympic season, the process begins renovating one town somewhere in the world to play host to the most notable sporting events known to man, What do the citizens of the city hosting these games receive for that though? In my version of The Olympics, the hosting city should get to choose the first event that will be played in the Olympics. Likewise, each nation who is involved should be able to choose one event to be played, these will be the only events meaning they could change each year. If this were to take place, America damn sure better take NASCAR…


What does every major televised event or reality show need, A good charismatic host! Up to a vote between the nations involved, a celebrity host could bring some much needed liveliness into the events. Steven Tyler, Gordon Ramsey, Wayne Brady, think of the possibilities!

4. Risk vs. Reward

Along with a good host, there has to be a reason for them to be there. Losing events should result in a risk such as making the last place country wear a dunce hat, loose a team member for the rest of the events or even the elimination of a country from the games. On the flip side, along with Medals, Winning events could result in cash prizes, or things to bring back home to their homeland. Imagine tuning into The Olympics and having it play out like an episode of Total Drama Island, amazing.

5. Pay to Play

The Olympics are not about money, The Olympics are not about money, The Olympics are not about money. To that, I say piss off. Going back to a cash reward, give the overall most winning nation a cash prize. Where do we get this prize you might ask, pay to play baby. Hell we could put EA in charge of it, figure out a set amount and translate it into each countries currency respectively and equally. Not only does it feed into the risk vs. reward aspect of the games but the winning team would be able to use the money however they see fit. Imagine taking a chunk out of America’s debt because we whooped every other nations ass in tennis… Or NASCAR

In closing, maybe it’s just me who thinks The Olympics have grown stale, maybe it’s not. One thing you cannot deny though, is that the program described above is some damn good TV.