Best Ways To Trash Talk In Video Games

The new era of trash talking is here. It all started in the golden days of Halo 3 and Call of Duty. But now that the new era of video games is here, there are new ways that people have discovered to trash talk. This list is to show you how to win every single psychological battle with the other player(s).

5.) Ear Rape

The classic ear rape has been one of the most commonly used methods of trash talking in gaming history. “They can’t trash talk if they can’t hear themselves.” Is the philosophy behind this method. It is quite effective towards people that are clearly trying to shit talk your K/D. It is even more effective if you have an entire team use this strategy for the brief few seconds in between rounds. It does critical damage at all times but is mainly used during evening gaming.

4.) Playing Music On Your Phone

Test out your enemies music taste by blaring your favorite rap or country song into your headset. This tactic is highly effective in getting muted by your targets. When you get muted, that shows that you have shown dominance over your enemies and they are too scared to battle with you. This tactic is highly effective against grown men that can’t take a joke, which is over half of the whole gaming community.

3.) Gamertag

People that have way too many numbers or X’s in their names are naturally bound to be more toxic or sweaty than others. So, the best way to approach and strike these players is to either trash talk their beloved name or come up with your own ridiculous name and become the thing you sought out to destroy. There are not many things that are more infuriating than getting killed by xXx_No0bK1llR_XxX repeatedly. So the solution is to destroy their self esteem by striking their creativity and decision making skills, or lack there of.

2.) Being On The Bottom Of The Team

When you are doing poorly in a match, there is nothing more entertaining than to trash talk the top player on the other team. This move is highly effective and predictable. When using this move, the person being trash-talked will always reply with the same argument that you gave, making him unoriginal and inferior to your supreme wits. This is a move that trumps many other strategies and destroys your enemies psychologically.

Honorable Mention.) Racism

The most commonly used way to aggravate anybody on the other team is to be highly racist toward them. People that were alive to be a part of the roaring modern racism movement of the late 2000s video games have grown to be immune to this method. But despite recent events in the world, this method has returned and is highly effective towards people that are clearly better than you at video games.

1.) Ole Reliable

The rarest and most effective method of trash talking is by using Ole Reliable. The least expected and most ear-pain inducing instrument when blared into a mic is the best method of demoralizing your opponents. This method is even more effective when more than one harmonica is being used. Completely throwing your enemies off-guard, this method almost always guarantees a win for your team.


Accidental Racism

Have you ever found yourself dying on a street curb because you looked at an Asian man funny? They aren’t in your neighborhood that much so it was a shocker right? Well… It apparently is now. APPARENTLY people are considered racist because of cultural anomalies. Imagine this, you are an African American man living in a rough part of the city. It’s been months since you’ve seen any sign of an Asian around. You work nights and get off of your long 12 hour shift to go get some groceries for your beautiful woman waiting for you at home. While you’re at the grocery store in the vegetable isle, you hear a voice over your shoulder, “Hey Sir,are these tomatoes always this size and color over here?” You get frightened. The last time you remotely seen anything regarding Asian culture was when you watched the original Karate Kid with your woman months ago. You also realize that this situation is strange because if you went to Asia and asked the same question to some random local, they’d give the same response. You accidentally think racist thoughts in your head because of these types of situations.

I’ll give you a realistic example of accidental racism in children. Go back in time to elementary school and remember the time that your class was read “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” and the N word just came right out of left field? Our tiny minds weren’t familiar with the history behind that story and many of the white kids in the class have never heard that word before. As a result and kids being kids, they’d like to repeat things that they’d find new. On the ride with their parents home from school, they would start to describe what they learned in school and also describe their fellow African American classmates as the new word that they learned. Accidentally, that word and the racism that’s associated with it becomes a part of their lives forever.

So whether you’re at a Chinese restaurant and you can’t pronounce the menu items correctly or you’re dwelling on your past reactions towards a race group you haven’t seen in months. Everybody has accidentally had racist thoughts occur in their heads and if someone were to agree, they would be wrong because it is human nature to be surprised by something that is not a part of their everyday life. There is no need to be down on yourself about these things. It happens to the best of us. So the next time you’re at a Chinese restaurant thinking to yourself, “How in the absolute fuck is this pronounced?” Be aware in that moment that you are accidentally being racists towards the communist regime that is China.