Sex With A Man: Expectation Vs. Reality

Sex can be a splendid thing, but occasionally our expectations about sex versus the reality can be quite skewed toward the realm of ultimate fantasy. Case in point: Sex with a man. Yes, there are some dudes out there who can uncover the secret wonders of a woman’s unknowns so easily, you may think he’s a Sex Sensei. But then, there are most men who are wonderful too, but flawed human beings just like the rest of us. That doesn’t always stop us from having certain, and sometimes ridiculous, expectations though.

Hollywood stallions has put it in our heads that sex often comes with romantic music, fits of passion on top of cluttered counters, flawless lighting, and minor acrobatics. Similarly, mainstream porn gives us an unrealistic view of how sex looks. But when it comes time to do have sex in the real world with an actual man, there may be a lot more awkward fumbling, accidental injuries and ill-timed noises than the magic of cinema leads us to believe. In the end, that’s all OK though. The laughs, embarrassing moments and mishaps are things you actually remember. Having sex with a guy you care about and can communicate well with is going to be good regardless, so feel free to LOL over some of the expectations you may have previously had.

1. Expectation: You Look At Him, And He’s Suddenly Hard Forever

I am putting on all the moves and wearing my sexiest bra and panties, so this won’t be an issue.

Reality: He Needs A Little Work

Yes, he may get a boner at the most inopportune moments, but they’re not just a switch you can activate. Even though porn makes it look like everyone can get aroused right on the spot, we know that’s definitely not true for women’s arousal, and it’s not always true for guys either.

Expectation: A Lengthy Amount Of Foreplay

Tonight we’re busting out the massage oils and searching each other’s Wonderland’s like an old John Mayer

Reality: Rushes Right Into It

OK, we both have work in the morning so let’s just get right into it and call it a night. We can do that foreplay stuff tomorrow.

Expectation: He’s Going To Hit The G-Spot For Hours!

I read about this new position online that allows for immediate G-spot action guaranteed to blow your mind!

Reality: Wait, Do I Even Have A G-spot?

Are we doing this right? Did he find it? Can I even find it? Do I actually have a G-spot or am I some unlucky sub-human?

Expectation: I Will Be One Of The Rare Unicorns To Have A Vaginal Orgasm

Once again, did my research online and the two of us are ready to do all the moves so I can finally experience the fabled vaginal orgasm.

Reality: Or Not

Is everyone lying to me? Getting on top again so we can get some clit action going.

Expectation: Switching Up Positions Like Two Regular Porn Stars

He’s a mighty super hero in the sack, ready to flip me over, lift me over his head, and do just about any other mystical thing only Sex Gods can do.

Reality: We May Have Some Awkward Injuries After This

He tried to switch from missionary to doggy and we both bumped our heads on the headboard. OW.

Expectation: Nicholas Sparks Will Write Pages About Us

Tonight we are going to make love a la The Notebook filled with unwavering intimacy and connection. It’ll be just the two of us, colliding together as if we were melding into one another.

Reality: A Lot Of Awkward Noises We’re Just Going To Ignore

His dog is sitting there and watching us as the bed creaks and neither of us can stop laughing.

Expectation: We Are Going All Night This Time

We both drank espresso with dinner, and tonight will finally be the night where we do nothing but have sex. He’s even researched some mental tricks and positions so he can last longer. Let’s do this. #sexmarathon

Reality: 10 Minutes Later, We’re Both Kind Of Exhausted

That was nice, but I’m feeling pretty sleepy.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

7 Reasons Why Love And Sex Go Together

Love and sex are two different things. However, there are very different opinions in the society about how they connect. Some believe that the two are almost interchangeable. They assume that if sex is present, then love is as well. This can lead down some very rough roads. Others believe that the two aren’t connected at all. They believe that you can easily have one without the other without any lasting effects. However, there are many reasons why love and sex go together, including the following:

Can My Relationship Survive With Just Sex?

  1. Love and Sexual Desire Come from The Same Place

If you want to leave emotion and opinion out of the debate about if love and sex go together, science has proven that they are connected. Canadian researchers conducted a study in 2012 that found the part of your brain that handles emotions is where sexual desire comes from. Both emotional love and sexual desire are from the insular cortex. These findings lead people to believe that the two are connected to a level that removes our choice from it. We can choose to have sex when love is not present, but it can be difficult for emotions to handle.

Sexual desire and love lead to some of the same reactions in your brain. That means it can be easy to confuse what you are experiencing. This is why some people struggle to think that they are in love after they have sex when the other person doesn’t. Science also explains that this makes sex even better when you are in love because you are getting a double dose of the chemicals that make you feel good. We’ll explain these later in the article.

  1. Love Makes Sex More Fulfilling

Penn State researchers did a study with respect to sexual experience and sexual connection where they questioned 98 women. They found that the majority of women believe that when love is present, the sexual experience is better and more fulfilling. These results were regardless of it being in a marriage or a dating relationship. There are several reasons why it’s believed that this happens, and they are included below.

  1. Love Adds Trust and Comfort to The Mix

This could be counted as two different reasons. However, they are closely related. You can’t trust someone that you don’t know. That means one-night stands will never be able to stand up to the complete sexual experience that love can provide. When love is present, trust is also present. Trust adds a certain level of comfort to the relationship, including in sex. That means when you are making love with someone that you fall in love with, you aren’t worried about being judged.

This connection also means that you can be more open during the sexual experience. You can easily share the things that you like and what you don’t like. You won’t be afraid to ask for the things that you want. And, you know you are loved, and therefore you can relax at a level that you cannot reach when love is absent during sex.

  1. Sex is More Meaningful with Love

Sexual desire is one way to show love to another person. You can have sex without love being present, but then sex is just sex. There is nothing more to it. Even if you physically enjoy it, there will be a level of emptiness that comes with making love when love is absent. There is no real meaning to it. You know that it leads to nothing else. However, when you love the person that you are with, it takes the sexual experience to a deeper level. Emotional needs are being met as well as physical needs.

  1. People Try Unsuccessfully to Fill the Void of Love with Sex

You probably know someone that is constantly on the lookout for one-night stands. They aren’t even looking for a relationship they are just looking to hook up. There is no love involved in these types of connections; it is purely sexual. The reason this person has to keep searching for the next experience is that sexual fulfillment is short-term. There is no lasting positive impact from a one-night stand or empty sex. However, if this person starts to experience a loving relationship, they don’t have to go out hunting for the next hook up. Whether they want to admit it or not, they are filling the void of love in their life with sex.

  1. Marriages Without Sex Struggle or Fail

There are plenty of jokes in society about how seldom sex is had once you are married. However, the subject is no laughing matter. It’s a real problem in marriage that leads to all kinds of other issues. In marriage, making love communicates a level of love and desire. You want to be wanted by your spouse. Therefore, if your spouse refuses to have sex with you, the message you are communicating is that you don’t desire them physically, which makes them feel that you do not love them either.

When a marriage continues in this way, there are a few things that tend to happen. The first is that the partner that feels unloved and unwanted will begin to seek that fulfillment from other sources. This can quickly lead to extra-marital affairs. Even if this doesn’t happen, that partner can begin to withdraw from the relationship, which then leaves the other person feeling unloved as well. This causes distances, arguments, and hurt feelings throughout the marriage.

Can My Relationship Survive With Just Sex?

  1. Sex in A Loving Relationship Deepens the Feelings of Love

Couples that love each other tend to have sex more often. When both partners are engaged and have sex regularly, it deepens the feelings of love that they have for each other. This goes back to the first reason listed and the way that your brain works. It’s also why the feelings of love begin to die in sexless marriages.

Love and Sex Are Connected

No matter how hard society tries to remove love from the sexual experience, it is impossible to do. Love and sex are connected. You can have sex without being in love, but it does not lead to any positive long-term situations. Instead, making love without love opens up the door for many difficulties and emotional confusion. In the same way, if you are in a long-term romantic relationship, eventually sex comes into play. One without the other will not work for you long-term.

Problems That Can Arise When You Try to Disconnect the Two

  • Emotional emptiness – When you are having sex without being in love you will always be looking for more because the sexual experience is not meeting the full need of what you are looking for, even if you don’t realize it at the time. You are left with an empty feeling and believe the only way to fill it is with more sex. In reality, a deeper relationship where love is involved in the solution you are looking for.
  • Misunderstood experiences – If you believe that love and sex are the same things, and not just connected, you will be led into sexual experiences because you are seeking love and believe you will find it by making love. This is only setting yourself up to be hurt. Love and sex are connected, but they are not the same. Many people will have sex with you to try to meet their needs, even if they have no feelings of love for you.
  • You either use people or get used by people – When you are in a loving relationship, you both want the same thing which eventually promotes your sexual compatibility. Your sexual experiences are deepening your relationship and you want to please the other both in and out of bed. However, when love is removed from a sexual experience, it is purely selfish. You are either looking for love or looking to have your sexual needs fulfilled. There is a lack of care about what the other person needs. Your focus is on yourself.
  • You lose your relationship – It’s hard to maintain a romantic relationship long-term without making love. If you’ve been married for years and think that making love. isn’t necessary to your relationship anymore, you are wrong. Although you might feel that making love isn’t necessary, there are chances that your spouse doesn’t feel the same way.

Solutions

  • Bring back date night. Getting back in touch with your spouse can renew your sex life and your love for one another. Make time for the two of you and your relationship will flourish.
  • Start a new hobby together.Making new, fun memories together can renew a lost spark. Find something you will both enjoy and dive in.
  • Your partner won’t have a chance to work on the relationship if they don’t know there’s a problem with it. Communicate your issues, big and small, to protect the love and sex in your relationship.
  • Seek professional help. Troubles that arise in life around love and sex are some of the hardest that there are to work through. Both sex and love are incredibly complex issues that have many variables in play. If you’re struggling with situations in your life because of relationships, talking to a sex therapist can be one of the most effective ways to work through the situation. While both love and sex are deeply personal experiences, sometimes talking to an outside party that is not connected in any way can be the most effective at helping you see what’s happening.

Before you jump into another meaningless sexual relationship or before you lose your marriage due to lack of sex, seek help. Love and sex are undoubtedly connected. Understanding how they are connected and how that impacts your life is the key to finding the balance you desire.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

What does sex smell like, exactly?

Between kissing, touching, and moaning, sex is a pretty sense-heightening activity, and that includes your sense of smell. I mean, have you ever tried to pinpoint the odor and just kept wondering: What does sex smell like, exactly?

Have you ever noticed a smell during sex?

As it turns out, there are lots of scents—mostly pleasant but occasionally not—that you can sniff out if you pay attention in the bedroom, all combining for that “smells like sex in here!” effect. Here are some common sex smells, according to experts who *know* the human body:

Your scent, your partner’s scent, and the scent of both of you together.

Generally speaking, everyone has their own scent down there, says Jessica Shepherd, MD, a gynecologist in Dallas affiliated with Baylor University Medical Center. That means, even if you’re female and your partner is female, you’ll each have your own scent. And when your genital scent combines with someone else’s genital scent (of any gender), the two of you will together create a different scent, Dr. Shepherd says. Science! This might be why smells vary from partner to partner.

Sweat

People get wet in a lot of ways during sex, and sweat is another one of them. Perspiration adds a whole other ingredient to the aroma. “That can create different scents as well,” Dr. Shepherd says. 

If your sex sweat makes you at all uncomfortable, as much as you can, try to embrace it. After all, it’s totally normal! Oh, and fun fact: Stress can make your perspiration smell worse, so you might as well relax! Just be sure to wash your sheets on the reg.

A sweet smell

The saccharine smell of whipped cream, the chocolate-y aroma of, well, chocolate sauce… Dr. Shepherd says she thinks food is a great way to enhance sex. And the foods’ smells no doubt play a part in that.

That said, be careful where you put them. “There are certain foods that you should be cautious of that can irritate the vaginal mucosa,” Dr. Shepherd warns. “Sometimes the sugar content in a whipped cream, syrup, or chocolate sauce might irritate the vaginal canal to create a yeast infection or an irritation on the outer part of the vagina.”

You should also be cautious of peppers and other foods that evoke spicy smells; spicy products could cause burning or irritation down below, she says. And “with any food that’s used during sex, make sure that you wash the area after to decrease any irritation of the genitals.”

Flavored condoms

Food-y scents can also come by way of lube or condoms flavored as everything from peppermint to watermelon. You can even find organically flavored lube and condom varieties these days.

If you want to try these babies out, Mary Jane Minkin, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences at the Yale School of Medicine, recommends skipping the economy box the first time around. “Please get a small package and see how it does for you, if it irritates or makes things feel itchy or uncomfortable,” she says. If it does, move on to a different one.

Latex

Of course, even unflavored condoms can offer up a bit of an odor—a rubbery one. If the condom brand you’re using smells a little too latex-y for your liking, you might try Okamoto 004 Almost Nothing Latex Condoms, which don’t have a strong latex smell

Oh, and if your condom’s latex scent comes with a side of itchiness and irritation right after sex, you may have a latex allergy. The good news: Non-latex condoms exist. They’re made from polyurethane or lambskin, and they’re pretty common in stores. The bad news: Polyurethane condoms may be more expensive and more easily breakable than latex ones, according to Cleveland Clinic, and lambskin condoms won’t protect you against STIs.

A fishy smell

No sex smell should be bad or fishy. If that’s what you’re smelling, reach out to your doctor, because it could be a sign of a bacterial imbalance like bacterial vaginosis, says Dr. Minkin. Your partner might want to get checked out, too, even if he’s a guy: Seminal infections can also produce a fishy odor. Another potential cause of a down-below fishy odor that both women and men can get is the STI trichomoniasis, Dr. Minkin adds. 

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

6 Reasons why sex is important in a relationship

Sex is important when it comes to any romantic relationship.  

Sure, there’s much more to a relationship than sex, but getting busy is a major factor in maintaining a healthy, long-term partnership.

After dating for a period of time, many couples allow sex to fall by the wayside. Although this may seem like a normal evolution as relationships become more comfortable, it’s important that you understand why sex is important in a relationship — whether that relationship has been going on for three months or three years.

Sex can improve the connection between you and your partner, decrease stress and could even increase your lifespan!

Reason #1: Intimacy Increases Connection

The words “sex” and “intimacy” can be used interchangeably, but they aren’t always one in the same. Case in point, the connection that comes from sex during a relationship is quite different than that you may feel after a one night stand.

When I talk about why sex is important in a relationship, I’m referring to intimate sex. So what is makes sex intimate?

  • A mutual respect and understanding of one another
  • Clear, open communication about desires as well as boundaries when it comes to sex
  • Comfort with yourself and the other person

Sex is just one aspect that can build intimacy, trust, and longevity in a relationship. And why is this connection so important?

Being able to have an intimate sexual relationship with someone is something that involves complete trust and respect. It also involves foregoing any shame, doubt or insecurity (you are gonna be naked, after all — it doesn’t get much more vulnerable than that) in favor of being with someone in a physical, emotional way.

Reason #2: When That Connection Builds Over Time, it Continually Strengthens the Relationship

Having sex with someone — when it’s not purely for gratification, as with a one night stand or booty call — can be one of the pinnacles in building trust and strength in a relationship.

Sex in a committed relationship is a very special thing. Having sex means sharing yourself completely with someone and — regardless of how pleasurable sex is — it’s an extremely vulnerable state. As a carnal act, sex allows us to let go of our inhibitions, while also allowing us to feed our inhibitions and desires.

In a committed relationship, all these things are reserved for one person, which makes it extremely special and is one more reason why sex matters in a relationship.

Reason #3: Sex is Important for Your Overall Health

The third reason why sex is important in a relationship can actually lower your mortality. 

Want to decrease your visits to the doctor? Put in some time in the bedroom to prevent a sick day or two.

Getting busy isn’t just about a good time, people — it could actually save your life!

According to a bevy of studies, intercourse boasts a plethora of health benefits, including:

  • Decreased stress and anxiety
  • Greater ability to fight off colds and infections
  • Better memory
  • Increased fitness levels
  • Pain relief
  • Better sleep
  • A more youthful appearance (no, really!)
  • Decreased risk of heart disease and certain cancers

Looking at this list, it’s easy to see why sex is important in a relationship. And as far as taking care of your health goes, this is definitely one of the more enjoyable methods — i.e., getting busy definitely beats going on a juice cleanse.

Reason #4: Sex Can Contribute to Happiness

Saying that sex makes us happy may seem like stating the obvious, but allow me to elaborate.

That after sex glow that leaves you grinning from ear to ear can carry over into your overall happiness as a couple.

According to research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, couples who have sex once a week tend to be happier overall — significantly happier than couples who reported having sex once a month or less.

Moreover, for whatever reason, the “once a week” method seemed to yield the greatest results. A caveat is that, although this is frequent, going much above this number can lead to discomfort and negatively impact your relationship.

Basically, if your sex life is getting in the way of your daily responsibilities, it’s time to slow down.

Reason #5: It’s Important for You to Both Feel Desirable

One semi-obvious reason sex matters in a relationship is desirability. Feeling desirable comes from more than physical elements of a relationship. Still, it’s undeniable that sex is an important component in letting both you and your partner know that — no matter how long you’ve been together — ya still got IT!

For both men and women, feeling desirable is essential to happiness and confidence in a relationship. We often hear about the importance of letting women know they are desirable, but this emphasis can sometimes come at the cost of male self-esteem.  

Society can often lead women to mistakenly believe that, in order for a man to enjoy sex and feel desirable, they can simply show up. If a man is able to climax, some women may assume he is good to go and won’t give a second thought to the fact that she wasn’t feeling it.

But according to research, feeling desirable is just as important to men. And if the woman a man is with is noticeably disinterested in sex, it’s not going to make for a very intimate or enjoyable situation for the guy.

Surveyed men indicated that the following were important to them and made them feel desirable:

  • Compliments about physical appearance
  • Enthusiasm during sex
  • Initiating sex

For women, any form of sex has the potential to leave them feeling desirable, but the highest form of desirability comes when sex is a part of love. Attraction and sexual desire are just as much about mental stimulation as physical stimulation for women.

Below are some additional ways you can use sex to increase a feeling of desirability for you and your partner. 

Good Sex Requires Practice

As with most things in life, practice makes perfect!

Sex is no exception.

A mistake many couples make as they get further into a relationship is allowing comfort to replace libido.

Now, it’s completely understandable that the gotta-have-you-right-then-and-there desire that accompanies that honeymoon phase of dating will dim somewhat, but that doesn’t mean you and your partner can’t still get creative when it comes to knocking boots.

Communication, Communication, Communication

It’s important that you and your partner keep sexual discussions open and frequent. These discussions should feel safe and free of judgment, which will allow both you and your lady to open up about what you both want out of your sexual relationship — what you want more of, what you haven’t tried yet, and what you’d prefer to STOP doing.

Be prepared to put your pride aside and not take things personally. For example, maybe something you enjoy (and assumed your partner enjoyed) during sex is something like light hair pulling. But then, once you allow her to have the floor on what she does and doesn’t like, she lets you know that it’s just not her thing.

Remember that this is not a critique of your sexual prowess — this is simply a matter of personal preference.

Being able to communicate and set boundaries will leave you both feeling more comfortable and open during sex, which can ALSO lead sexual activity to become more frequent.

Reason #6: Discover Something New

A final reason why sex is important in a relationship is that it allows you to consistently be surprised (pleasantly, that is) by your partner, and vice versa.

The more often you and your partner have sex, the more likely it is that you’ll get into a rhythm you both enjoy AND that you may discover new positions, foreplay etc. that work well for each of you, thus improving your sex life and emotional connection.

Now Go Get Busy!!

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

A Beginner’s Guide to Kink ;)

When people hear “kink” they often think of things like BDSM—chains, whips, restraints, etc. Sure, kink can include those things. But really, it’s simply a sexual act that’s seen as unconventional—and can add excitement and fun into your sex life!

Kink is usually looked at through the lens of what a given culture or society deems normal, but it’s also relative to each couple and individual. If the missionary position seems foreign to you, but you don’t think twice about using blindfolds, missionary could be defined as one of your kinks.

Kink sometimes gets a bad or shameful reputation in society, but it can be a perfectly normal and healthy expression of sexual interests. Research even shows people who practice BDSM are less neurotic, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, have higher subjective well-being and other great things. Wanting to explore doesn’t make you weird; it makes you open to an experience that could enhance your sex life!

There are so many different manifestations of kink that it’d be impossible to touch upon them all in one article. Below, the focus is on introducing activities you and your partner could try right away, rather than discussing the more complex or layered manifestations of kink. After all, there are literally dozens of different kinks out there, ranging from things like mummification to pony play.

Think of this as your guide to getting started and know there’s plenty more to explore if you enjoy it.

Preparing for a Positive Experience

It’s always important to engage in clear discussions about desires, expectations and boundaries before you try something new in bed, but it’s even more important when kink is involved. If you’ll be exploring light pain, for example, you’ll want to ensure you don’t walk away feeling physically and/or emotionally hurt by your partner. Ensuring everyone is on the same page helps foster a positive sexual encounter for all involved.

Each partner should take time to identify what they are dying to try, what they are open to exploring if it’s their partner’s desire and what they don’t want to do. Then talk about it and decide how the encounter will go. For example, maybe you decide to try handcuffs, but only during foreplay. The more explicit you can both be about your expectations and boundaries, the better the experience will be.

Engaging in a Positive Experience

Try starting out small. Avoid trying a bunch of new activities right from the start as this can get overwhelming. Pick one or two things to try. You can always add in more later on down the line.

It’s also helpful to proactively check in with your partner throughout the experience. Ask questions to see what they feel like doing, such as, “Would you like to tie me up now?” or “Can I pull your hair?” Since so much of exploring kink with your partner is dependent on communication, never be afraid to ask questions. Plus, far as we’re concerned, it’s just good manners to ask someone how hard they want to be spanked.

Keep in mind you may need to adjust as you go. Maybe you have to re-tie the restraints because someone’s arm got uncomfortable or you take the blindfold off because it wasn’t enjoyable. It’s all part of the learning experience.

Beginner Kink Activities

The world of kink is vast and really only limited by your imagination. Below are some common ways to dip your toes into the water.

Blindfold

Removing visual stimuli can help make it easier to focus on touch sensations happening on your body. It can also make sensations stronger since you won’t know what’s going to happen or where. All you need is his tie, a sleep mask, a scarf or some other material that will block out light and not be uncomfortable against your skin.

Blindfolds are fun everywhere, and can be used in everything from foreplay to full-on sex.

Hand Ties

Restricting your hands can give you one less thing to think about, which can make it easier to get into the moment. You won’t need to worry about whether you should be scratching his back, massaging his neck, etc. Instead, you’ll be in, “can’t do anything but receive pleasure” mode. Many women find this to be especially enjoyable while receiving oral.

Or maybe you want to flip the script and tie your partner up. Many women find this approach helps them feel dominant and powerful. You can even try both approaches to see which you and your partner enjoy more.

You can use a variety of materials for bondage, such as a scarf or rope. Aim for tight enough to restrict your range of motion, but not so tight that it hurts or you feel trapped. A good rule of thumb is tying it so you can still slip two fingers between the material and the skin.

Biting, Scratching, and Spanking

These sharp sensations can create a great contrast to gentle touch. They can give bodies a jolt of energy, make other sensations more sensitive and even release endorphins. Beginners usually don’t want these to actually feel painful and instead focus on them creating a new feeling on the skin. Wait until the partner is really turned on as this will increase their pain tolerance and help generate a better sensation.

For biting, some good spots are the neck, the shoulders and the butt. For scratching, you can consult the Kama Sutra for some great technique recommendations. One favorite is the “peacock’s foot”, which involves scratching the breast with all five nails. This can be done towards or away from the nipple. For spanking, try rubbing the area first before you smack. You can use a hand, a wooden spoon or even a paddle from a sex toy shop.

Aftercare

Aftercare is a term used to describe the process of checking in together after a kink session. It often involves nurturing your partner through cuddling, tender kissing and talking about things. Go over what you did and did not enjoy. One or both partners may struggle with feeling a little distant afterwards or shame about engaging in less common sexual acts. Talk through how you both felt, what you didn’t like and what you can’t wait to try again. Keep exploring kink and you’ll find some great ways to add to your sex life.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

What Your Hogwarts House Says About Your Sex Life

We’re all very sad that Cedric Diggory is dead, but can I just say something even sadder? Cedric Diggory isn’t just dead — he died a virgin (who can’t drive!). I mean, yes, that is just an assumption on my part, and no, sex is not required for a fulfilling human existence (or necessarily ever even taught at Hogwarts), but also just like…Cedric. (OK, I’m objectifying a 17-year-old boy who basically wears a cape, so I’m cutting myself off.) What I’m trying to say without actually saying “YOLO” is that our time on this earth is limited, and there is no point in denying that Hogwarts graduates itself some sexy, sexy beasts. And if you’re looking to navigate that field of sexy, you can actually tell a lot about a person’s sex life based on what Hogwarts house they’re in.

Full disclosure, guys: I am a Hufflepuff/Slytherin hybrid. The actual sorting hat in the actual Pottermore game told me so. It is based off of this experience and the experiences of my Gryffindor and Ravenclaw friends that I can attest to the individual prowesses of each house to a pretty damn accurate degree, so gather round, all ye Potterheads. Here’s what your house says about your sex life:

Gryffindor

The sex you’re having: You’re havin’ sex all day, erryday—and the weirder it is, the better. Risk-taking turns you on like whoa, and during sexy games of “truth or dare” you are always, always, always “dare”. Despite all your sexnanigans, you have a relationship heavily rooted in mutual trust. Your safe word is “snarfalump.”

Where you’re having it: The edge of the Forbidden Forest. Muggles’ cars. On broomsticks in midair. Mid-apparating. IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN DO IT.

Sex jam of choice: “Get Lucky,” Daft Punk.

Hufflepuff

The kind of sex you’re having: Intimate, missionary, incredibly chatty sex. Yeah, you blow each other’s minds, but sex can also randomly turn into an impromptu book club or intense discussion about what kind of takeout you want delivered. Seamless is your love language.

Where you’re having it: The bedroom. Under the boardwalk. In the rain. Anywhere you’ve seen it done in a rom com.

Sex jam of choice: “Let’s Get It On,” Marvin Gaye. Hufflepuffs—#basic and proud.

Ravenclaw

What kind of sex you’re having: Anyone who thought that the nerds were having humdrum, textbook sex is ridonkulously wrong. Ravenclaws rival Gryffindors on the experimentation front, and are willing to try anything once. They are the pros of shameless, open communication during sex, and are rarely if ever self-conscious doing the deed.

Where you’re having it: In the office. In the ~restricted section~. Near the fireplace. In front of some cats.

Sex jam of choice: “Love Me Like You Do,” Ellie Goulding.

Slytherin

What kind of sex you’re having: You will never have a partner as dedicated to gettin’ you some as a Slytherin. They’ve got unparalleled ambition, and your orgasm is game, set, MATCH. However, they will not hesitate to blue ball you the moment you make a “slither … in” joke. THIS HAS BEEN A PSA. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Where you’re having it: Your bedroom. Other people’s bedrooms. The very expensive heirloom couch your dead grandmother left you.

Sex jam of choice: “Feelin’ Myself,” Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

sex based on your hair color

You might have heard those old school phrases about hair like “blondes have more fun,” but did you ever wonder if they actually do? You hair color can say a lot about your personality. It can say even more about sexual personality.

Redheads

redheads

Most know that natural redheads are rare, making up only two to six percent of the U.S. population, but what is not so commonly known is they tend to have more sex. A study conducted by Werner Habermehl, Ph.D., from the Hamburg Research Institute in Germany looked at hundreds of German women’s sex lives in conjunction with their hair color. It found that the redheaded women were much more sexually active than their blond and brunette counterparts. “The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her reputation,” said Professor Habermehl to Everyday Health.

Redheads are often considered sexy and desirable. According to Psychology Today, the reason behind this is not cut and dry, but it likely has to do with how rare they are. People tend to be attracted to hot commodities, and natural redheads are certainly that. Red hair is also a sign of youth and fertility, because it’s the opposite of gray hair (which signifies to men that a woman can no longer bear children). It’s also bold and attention grabbing, which is why many people assume redheads are fiery (although there’s no scientific evidence to back that up).

Brunettes

Brunettes

Brunettes are often seen as hard-working, smart and trustworthy. Sixty-seven percent of female CEOs said they would hire a brunette over any other hair color. According to the Daily Mail, this stereotype is so embedded in our society that 31 percent of natural blondes dye their hair brown in order to get ahead at work. A quarter of those women said they were actually given a promotion post hair color change.

Brunettes are usually more reserved in the bedroom — less than half of the brunettes polled in a survey of 2,500 said they’ve had a one-night stand. However, while they may be more reserved in choosing a partner, once they engage in sex, they seem to surpass the rest. According to a 2013 study, 58 percent of people say brunettes are better in bed. So even though redheads are jumping in the sack more, brunettes are apparently outperforming them.

Men also seem to find brunettes overall the most attractive. The University of Westminster in the U.K. conducted a study where they monitored the male attention a fair-skinned woman received while sporting blond, brunette and red hair colors. While her blond color attracted the most attention, the men once further poled, divulged they were most into her as a brunette.

Blondes

Blondes

Blond is the most coveted hair color among women, because the lighter hue is often associated with youth and beauty. Again, the reason for this is not straightforward, but scientists assume it’s because blondes tend to have higher levels of estrogen in their bodies. This in turn makes them look overall more feminine, and thus more attractive to men. According to The Guardian, these higher estrogen levels also make features smaller and finer, which enhances that youthful baby look, which signifies fertility. That whole notion of blondes having more fun? That also stems from these higher estrogen levels, which make for women with higher levels of energy.

Blondes also tend to be the wild and crazy ones in the bedroom. According to a poll of 1,500 men in the UK, 36 percent of men consider blondes to be the most spirited between the sheets. Also, in the previously mentioned bar study, blondes were considered the most approachable and open. However, when it comes to marriage material, brunettes unequivocally win out with 61 percent of men saying they’d prefer to tie the knot with them. Sorry, blondes. I suppose you’ll just have to leave boring, married life to your more serious, dark-haired sisters.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

What your sex life should be like based on your astrological zodiac sign

First, what are the symbols:

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Aries: The Ram

(Mar 21-Apr 19)

The pioneer and trailblazer of the horoscope wheel, Aries energy helps us initiate, fight for our beliefs and fearlessly put ourselves out there.

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Taurus: The Bull

(Apr 20-May 20)

The persistent provider of the horoscope family, Taurus energy helps us seek security, enjoy earthly pleasures and get the job done.

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Gemini: The Twins

(May 21-Jun 20)

The most versatile and vibrant horoscope sign, Gemini energy helps us communicate, collaborate and fly our freak flags at full mast.

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Cancer: The Crab

(June 21-July 22)

The natural nurturer of the horoscope wheel, Cancer energy helps us connect with our feelings, plant deep roots and feather our family nests.

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Leo: The Lion

(July 23-Aug 22)

The drama queen and regal ruler of the horoscope clan, Leo energy helps us shine, express ourselves boldly and wear our hearts on our sleeves.

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Virgo: The Virgin

(Aug 23-Sep 22)

The masterful helper of the horoscope wheel, Virgo energy teaches us to serve, do impeccable work and prioritize wellbeing—of ourselves, our loved ones and the planet.

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Libra: The Scales

(Sep 23-Oct 22)

The balanced beautifier of the horoscope family, Libra energy inspires us to seek peace, harmony and cooperation—and to do it with style and grace.

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Scorpio: The Scorpion

(Oct 23-Nov 21)

The most intense and focused of the horoscope signs, Scorpio energy helps us dive deep, merge our superpowers and form bonds that are built to last.

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Sagittarius: The Archer

(Nov 22-Dec 21)

The worldly adventurer of the horoscope wheel, Sagittarius energy inspires us to dream big, chase the impossible and take fearless risks.

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Capricorn: The Goat

(Dec 22-Jan 19)

The measured master planner of the horoscope family, Capricorn energy teaches us the power of structure and long-term goals.

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Aquarius: The Water Bearer

(Jan 20-Feb 18)

The mad scientist and humanitarian of the horoscope wheel, futuristic Aquarius energy helps us innovate and unite for social justice.

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Pisces: The Fish

(Feb 19-Mar 20)

The dreamer and healer of the horoscope family, Pisces energy awakens compassion, imagination and artistry, uniting us as one.

Now let’s get down to the details

Aries: 

The important thing to understand about Aries at least as far as sex is concerned is that it always prefers to be on top! There’s a predatory side to Aries people which means that for them, sex is largely about pursuit and conquest. In relationships Arians love a sense of challenge: it’s this that gets their juices flowing and gives them their reputation as one of the hottest lovers in the Zodiac.

Taurus:

 The Taurean tug-of-war with change and their need for sameness explains their legendary lack of spontaneity in the bedroom. Although the Taurus mate’s personality traits make them adept at lovemaking, they also like to be prepared, to be “ready.” And sometimes, lovin’ just don’t play that way.

Taurus men and women, born between April 20 and May 21, like advance warning before a romantic liaison so they can take a shower, shave, and put on something nice to get in the mood.

If you want to know how to have great sex with one of these “bulls” and can deal with making an appointment for sex, then you’re in for an enjoyable evening … just so long as you arrive at the designated time.

Some might call erotic encounters with a Taurus “vanilla,” but it’s the best, most delicious brand of vanilla in your grocery store’s freezer section.

Gemini:

Take a rain check on Gemini if you’re looking for heart-stopping sex of the deep and meaningful kind. As the mutable air sign, for Gemini love is primarily about a meeting of minds. Its passions don’t tend to run high although with its fondness for change and variety, it can be quite innovative in trying out different sexual techniques.

Cancer:

Love and sex are irrevocably intertwined in the mind of most Cancerians: many will be uncomfortable with the idea of physical intimacy unless they possess at least some degree of emotional involvement with their sexual partner. For this reason Cancer is one of the star signs least likely to have a one-night-stand.

Leo:

Like everything in the life of the theatrical Lion, sex has to be glamorous and exciting for Leo. Without the right props and the right setting, you’ll never light a Leo’s fire. Think champagne and oysters, satin bedsheets, violins playing in the background. This sign’s biggest sexual fantasy? That they’re acting the lead in a romantic movie in front of an admiring audience. A strategically positioned mirror can create the desired effect!

Virgo:

Let’s start by clearing up a common misunderstanding. Virgos get just as much sex as anyone else and there are no more virgins among those born under this star sign than any other sign of the Zodiac. The purity associated with Virgo relates simply to these people’s impeccable standards: when seeking a long-term sexual partner, they tend to be extremely fussy about who measures up and who does not.

Libra:

Libra’s interest in sex usually starts early. Because relationships are of such major significance to those born under this sign, many Librans find themselves a boyfriend or girlfriend at an early age. From then onwards they’re never without a ‘significant other’ for more than about five minutes. A single Libran rarely feels complete: they’re always searching for their other half to balance them out.

Scorpio:

There’s something irresistibly hypnotic about Scorpios that gives them an extraordinary sexual magnetism. With those penetrating eyes that seem to see straight through to your soul, they can quickly gain a strange kind of sexual hold over you. It’s dangerously easy to fall madly in love with this star sign. It’s much harder, however, to get a Scorpio to fall in love with you.

Sagittarius: 

They have a reputation as sexual adventurers – but then, adventure is invariably the be-all and end-all of a typical Sagittarian’s life. Love is a game of chance Sagittarius is happy to take a risk on: if things get too heavy for this footloose and fancy-free star sign, it’s always ready to move on.

Capricorn:

If you want good sex with a Capricorn, the first rule is never, ever to make fun of them, not even in a good-natured way. Easily embarrassed and often lacking in confidence, many Capricorns tend to be a bit self-conscious about their sexual performance. Any kind of implied criticism will dampen their libido – and maybe finish your relationship for good.

Aquarius:

As the symbol of the New Age of Aquarius, this sign takes a progressive approach to sex but, contrary to popular belief, it’s not necessarily into the concept of free love. Certainly, it believes in the importance of independence within sexual relationships and the right of each individual to a personal life of their own. But Aquarius is no more libidinous and no less faithful than any other star sign – unless, of course, it gets bored.

Pisces:

It’s the most mystical and other-worldly of the star signs. So it’s not surprising that for people born under Pisces, at its best sex is about losing themselves in a true spiritual at-oneness – and a lot more than just a physical thing. The sign most likely to make the earth move for you, there can be something magical about sex with a Pisces, and it’s perilously easy to fall under their spell.

Blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

What sex-ed didn’t teach us.

There are many things that sexual education did teach us in middle school but there are alot of things that were skimped on…

The normal curriculum claims to include topics on HIV/AIDS and STI prevention; birth control with an emphasis on abstinence; values around gender, sexual orientation, and sexual relationships; reproductive anatomy and physiology; and many more useful topics for teens to maintain their health throughout their relationship.

The 7th-grade lesson plan focuses on basic sex ed topics such as anatomy, healthy relationships, pregnancy and birth control, STI and HIV/AIDS prevention, and an introduction to sexual orientation. 

The 8th-grade lesson plan builds upon the basic knowledge presented through the 7th-grade topics and explores the impact of being sexually active, sex in the media, building healthy relationships, and gender identity.

Birth Control

 I remember from my educational journey the only birth control I was taught about was the pill and if you do your research you can really go into detail about what forms are good for you and others that just don’t work but first what are your options

  • Birth Control Pills
  • Plan B
  • Female Condoms
  • Implant (Arm Bar)
  • IUD
  • Condoms
  • Tubal Ligation
  • Emergency Contraception
  • Depo-Provera Shot
  • Vasectomy
  • Spermicide
  • Male Birth Control

Of course tubal ligation and vasectomy are not really in the cards to be talked about with 7th and 8th graders but honestly the other forms of birth control are where we can start, talk about the negative health effects that all birth control can have on the body and that all bodies are different so what works for your friends may not work for you. The effects that birth control has on mental health as well as body weight should be talked about in schools it might help girls with their body image.

Sexual Orientation

This was not taught when i was in middle school I learned that “boys like girls” and “girls like boys” but now it is being taught that you  can like anyone and yes that is perfectly fine but don’t confuse the kids with if you’re born a boy you can be a girl if you feel like it. I understand the conversation if it comes up but I believe that is topic for them to figure out for themselves.

 Abstinence

You already know schools led with this one, but they shouldn’t shame kids of course 7th and 8th graders should not be having sex just don’t tell them to wait until they are married so many people arern’t even getting married now a days so tell them it’s alright to have sex but you need to be mentally mature and physically ready.

Anatomy

The education system was spot on with the anatomy portion of the curriculum.

I do not have any complaints about this section.

Sex-Ed? Yes or No

You know considering everything the education system didn’t do all that bad if I was to teach a group of 12 year olds about balls and condoms I would struggle too they just need to go a little in depth about certain things so close to yes but not quite yet. 

Blog by Julez for Style’s Rebel Radio