A Beginner’s Guide to Kink ;)

When people hear “kink” they often think of things like BDSM—chains, whips, restraints, etc. Sure, kink can include those things. But really, it’s simply a sexual act that’s seen as unconventional—and can add excitement and fun into your sex life!

Kink is usually looked at through the lens of what a given culture or society deems normal, but it’s also relative to each couple and individual. If the missionary position seems foreign to you, but you don’t think twice about using blindfolds, missionary could be defined as one of your kinks.

Kink sometimes gets a bad or shameful reputation in society, but it can be a perfectly normal and healthy expression of sexual interests. Research even shows people who practice BDSM are less neurotic, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, have higher subjective well-being and other great things. Wanting to explore doesn’t make you weird; it makes you open to an experience that could enhance your sex life!

There are so many different manifestations of kink that it’d be impossible to touch upon them all in one article. Below, the focus is on introducing activities you and your partner could try right away, rather than discussing the more complex or layered manifestations of kink. After all, there are literally dozens of different kinks out there, ranging from things like mummification to pony play.

Think of this as your guide to getting started and know there’s plenty more to explore if you enjoy it.

Preparing for a Positive Experience

It’s always important to engage in clear discussions about desires, expectations and boundaries before you try something new in bed, but it’s even more important when kink is involved. If you’ll be exploring light pain, for example, you’ll want to ensure you don’t walk away feeling physically and/or emotionally hurt by your partner. Ensuring everyone is on the same page helps foster a positive sexual encounter for all involved.

Each partner should take time to identify what they are dying to try, what they are open to exploring if it’s their partner’s desire and what they don’t want to do. Then talk about it and decide how the encounter will go. For example, maybe you decide to try handcuffs, but only during foreplay. The more explicit you can both be about your expectations and boundaries, the better the experience will be.

Engaging in a Positive Experience

Try starting out small. Avoid trying a bunch of new activities right from the start as this can get overwhelming. Pick one or two things to try. You can always add in more later on down the line.

It’s also helpful to proactively check in with your partner throughout the experience. Ask questions to see what they feel like doing, such as, “Would you like to tie me up now?” or “Can I pull your hair?” Since so much of exploring kink with your partner is dependent on communication, never be afraid to ask questions. Plus, far as we’re concerned, it’s just good manners to ask someone how hard they want to be spanked.

Keep in mind you may need to adjust as you go. Maybe you have to re-tie the restraints because someone’s arm got uncomfortable or you take the blindfold off because it wasn’t enjoyable. It’s all part of the learning experience.

Beginner Kink Activities

The world of kink is vast and really only limited by your imagination. Below are some common ways to dip your toes into the water.


Removing visual stimuli can help make it easier to focus on touch sensations happening on your body. It can also make sensations stronger since you won’t know what’s going to happen or where. All you need is his tie, a sleep mask, a scarf or some other material that will block out light and not be uncomfortable against your skin.

Blindfolds are fun everywhere, and can be used in everything from foreplay to full-on sex.

Hand Ties

Restricting your hands can give you one less thing to think about, which can make it easier to get into the moment. You won’t need to worry about whether you should be scratching his back, massaging his neck, etc. Instead, you’ll be in, “can’t do anything but receive pleasure” mode. Many women find this to be especially enjoyable while receiving oral.

Or maybe you want to flip the script and tie your partner up. Many women find this approach helps them feel dominant and powerful. You can even try both approaches to see which you and your partner enjoy more.

You can use a variety of materials for bondage, such as a scarf or rope. Aim for tight enough to restrict your range of motion, but not so tight that it hurts or you feel trapped. A good rule of thumb is tying it so you can still slip two fingers between the material and the skin.

Biting, Scratching, and Spanking

These sharp sensations can create a great contrast to gentle touch. They can give bodies a jolt of energy, make other sensations more sensitive and even release endorphins. Beginners usually don’t want these to actually feel painful and instead focus on them creating a new feeling on the skin. Wait until the partner is really turned on as this will increase their pain tolerance and help generate a better sensation.

For biting, some good spots are the neck, the shoulders and the butt. For scratching, you can consult the Kama Sutra for some great technique recommendations. One favorite is the “peacock’s foot”, which involves scratching the breast with all five nails. This can be done towards or away from the nipple. For spanking, try rubbing the area first before you smack. You can use a hand, a wooden spoon or even a paddle from a sex toy shop.


Aftercare is a term used to describe the process of checking in together after a kink session. It often involves nurturing your partner through cuddling, tender kissing and talking about things. Go over what you did and did not enjoy. One or both partners may struggle with feeling a little distant afterwards or shame about engaging in less common sexual acts. Talk through how you both felt, what you didn’t like and what you can’t wait to try again. Keep exploring kink and you’ll find some great ways to add to your sex life.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information contained herein is not a substitute for and should never be relied upon for professional medical advice. Always talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of any treatment.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

What Your Hogwarts House Says About Your Sex Life

We’re all very sad that Cedric Diggory is dead, but can I just say something even sadder? Cedric Diggory isn’t just dead — he died a virgin (who can’t drive!). I mean, yes, that is just an assumption on my part, and no, sex is not required for a fulfilling human existence (or necessarily ever even taught at Hogwarts), but also just like…Cedric. (OK, I’m objectifying a 17-year-old boy who basically wears a cape, so I’m cutting myself off.) What I’m trying to say without actually saying “YOLO” is that our time on this earth is limited, and there is no point in denying that Hogwarts graduates itself some sexy, sexy beasts. And if you’re looking to navigate that field of sexy, you can actually tell a lot about a person’s sex life based on what Hogwarts house they’re in.

Full disclosure, guys: I am a Hufflepuff/Slytherin hybrid. The actual sorting hat in the actual Pottermore game told me so. It is based off of this experience and the experiences of my Gryffindor and Ravenclaw friends that I can attest to the individual prowesses of each house to a pretty damn accurate degree, so gather round, all ye Potterheads. Here’s what your house says about your sex life:


The sex you’re having: You’re havin’ sex all day, erryday—and the weirder it is, the better. Risk-taking turns you on like whoa, and during sexy games of “truth or dare” you are always, always, always “dare”. Despite all your sexnanigans, you have a relationship heavily rooted in mutual trust. Your safe word is “snarfalump.”

Where you’re having it: The edge of the Forbidden Forest. Muggles’ cars. On broomsticks in midair. Mid-apparating. IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN DO IT.

Sex jam of choice: “Get Lucky,” Daft Punk.


The kind of sex you’re having: Intimate, missionary, incredibly chatty sex. Yeah, you blow each other’s minds, but sex can also randomly turn into an impromptu book club or intense discussion about what kind of takeout you want delivered. Seamless is your love language.

Where you’re having it: The bedroom. Under the boardwalk. In the rain. Anywhere you’ve seen it done in a rom com.

Sex jam of choice: “Let’s Get It On,” Marvin Gaye. Hufflepuffs—#basic and proud.


What kind of sex you’re having: Anyone who thought that the nerds were having humdrum, textbook sex is ridonkulously wrong. Ravenclaws rival Gryffindors on the experimentation front, and are willing to try anything once. They are the pros of shameless, open communication during sex, and are rarely if ever self-conscious doing the deed.

Where you’re having it: In the office. In the ~restricted section~. Near the fireplace. In front of some cats.

Sex jam of choice: “Love Me Like You Do,” Ellie Goulding.


What kind of sex you’re having: You will never have a partner as dedicated to gettin’ you some as a Slytherin. They’ve got unparalleled ambition, and your orgasm is game, set, MATCH. However, they will not hesitate to blue ball you the moment you make a “slither … in” joke. THIS HAS BEEN A PSA. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Where you’re having it: Your bedroom. Other people’s bedrooms. The very expensive heirloom couch your dead grandmother left you.

Sex jam of choice: “Feelin’ Myself,” Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

sex based on your hair color

You might have heard those old school phrases about hair like “blondes have more fun,” but did you ever wonder if they actually do? You hair color can say a lot about your personality. It can say even more about sexual personality.



Most know that natural redheads are rare, making up only two to six percent of the U.S. population, but what is not so commonly known is they tend to have more sex. A study conducted by Werner Habermehl, Ph.D., from the Hamburg Research Institute in Germany looked at hundreds of German women’s sex lives in conjunction with their hair color. It found that the redheaded women were much more sexually active than their blond and brunette counterparts. “The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her reputation,” said Professor Habermehl to Everyday Health.

Redheads are often considered sexy and desirable. According to Psychology Today, the reason behind this is not cut and dry, but it likely has to do with how rare they are. People tend to be attracted to hot commodities, and natural redheads are certainly that. Red hair is also a sign of youth and fertility, because it’s the opposite of gray hair (which signifies to men that a woman can no longer bear children). It’s also bold and attention grabbing, which is why many people assume redheads are fiery (although there’s no scientific evidence to back that up).



Brunettes are often seen as hard-working, smart and trustworthy. Sixty-seven percent of female CEOs said they would hire a brunette over any other hair color. According to the Daily Mail, this stereotype is so embedded in our society that 31 percent of natural blondes dye their hair brown in order to get ahead at work. A quarter of those women said they were actually given a promotion post hair color change.

Brunettes are usually more reserved in the bedroom — less than half of the brunettes polled in a survey of 2,500 said they’ve had a one-night stand. However, while they may be more reserved in choosing a partner, once they engage in sex, they seem to surpass the rest. According to a 2013 study, 58 percent of people say brunettes are better in bed. So even though redheads are jumping in the sack more, brunettes are apparently outperforming them.

Men also seem to find brunettes overall the most attractive. The University of Westminster in the U.K. conducted a study where they monitored the male attention a fair-skinned woman received while sporting blond, brunette and red hair colors. While her blond color attracted the most attention, the men once further poled, divulged they were most into her as a brunette.



Blond is the most coveted hair color among women, because the lighter hue is often associated with youth and beauty. Again, the reason for this is not straightforward, but scientists assume it’s because blondes tend to have higher levels of estrogen in their bodies. This in turn makes them look overall more feminine, and thus more attractive to men. According to The Guardian, these higher estrogen levels also make features smaller and finer, which enhances that youthful baby look, which signifies fertility. That whole notion of blondes having more fun? That also stems from these higher estrogen levels, which make for women with higher levels of energy.

Blondes also tend to be the wild and crazy ones in the bedroom. According to a poll of 1,500 men in the UK, 36 percent of men consider blondes to be the most spirited between the sheets. Also, in the previously mentioned bar study, blondes were considered the most approachable and open. However, when it comes to marriage material, brunettes unequivocally win out with 61 percent of men saying they’d prefer to tie the knot with them. Sorry, blondes. I suppose you’ll just have to leave boring, married life to your more serious, dark-haired sisters.

blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

What your sex life should be like based on your astrological zodiac sign

First, what are the symbols:


Aries: The Ram

(Mar 21-Apr 19)

The pioneer and trailblazer of the horoscope wheel, Aries energy helps us initiate, fight for our beliefs and fearlessly put ourselves out there.


Taurus: The Bull

(Apr 20-May 20)

The persistent provider of the horoscope family, Taurus energy helps us seek security, enjoy earthly pleasures and get the job done.


Gemini: The Twins

(May 21-Jun 20)

The most versatile and vibrant horoscope sign, Gemini energy helps us communicate, collaborate and fly our freak flags at full mast.


Cancer: The Crab

(June 21-July 22)

The natural nurturer of the horoscope wheel, Cancer energy helps us connect with our feelings, plant deep roots and feather our family nests.


Leo: The Lion

(July 23-Aug 22)

The drama queen and regal ruler of the horoscope clan, Leo energy helps us shine, express ourselves boldly and wear our hearts on our sleeves.


Virgo: The Virgin

(Aug 23-Sep 22)

The masterful helper of the horoscope wheel, Virgo energy teaches us to serve, do impeccable work and prioritize wellbeing—of ourselves, our loved ones and the planet.


Libra: The Scales

(Sep 23-Oct 22)

The balanced beautifier of the horoscope family, Libra energy inspires us to seek peace, harmony and cooperation—and to do it with style and grace.


Scorpio: The Scorpion

(Oct 23-Nov 21)

The most intense and focused of the horoscope signs, Scorpio energy helps us dive deep, merge our superpowers and form bonds that are built to last.


Sagittarius: The Archer

(Nov 22-Dec 21)

The worldly adventurer of the horoscope wheel, Sagittarius energy inspires us to dream big, chase the impossible and take fearless risks.


Capricorn: The Goat

(Dec 22-Jan 19)

The measured master planner of the horoscope family, Capricorn energy teaches us the power of structure and long-term goals.


Aquarius: The Water Bearer

(Jan 20-Feb 18)

The mad scientist and humanitarian of the horoscope wheel, futuristic Aquarius energy helps us innovate and unite for social justice.


Pisces: The Fish

(Feb 19-Mar 20)

The dreamer and healer of the horoscope family, Pisces energy awakens compassion, imagination and artistry, uniting us as one.

Now let’s get down to the details


The important thing to understand about Aries at least as far as sex is concerned is that it always prefers to be on top! There’s a predatory side to Aries people which means that for them, sex is largely about pursuit and conquest. In relationships Arians love a sense of challenge: it’s this that gets their juices flowing and gives them their reputation as one of the hottest lovers in the Zodiac.


 The Taurean tug-of-war with change and their need for sameness explains their legendary lack of spontaneity in the bedroom. Although the Taurus mate’s personality traits make them adept at lovemaking, they also like to be prepared, to be “ready.” And sometimes, lovin’ just don’t play that way.

Taurus men and women, born between April 20 and May 21, like advance warning before a romantic liaison so they can take a shower, shave, and put on something nice to get in the mood.

If you want to know how to have great sex with one of these “bulls” and can deal with making an appointment for sex, then you’re in for an enjoyable evening … just so long as you arrive at the designated time.

Some might call erotic encounters with a Taurus “vanilla,” but it’s the best, most delicious brand of vanilla in your grocery store’s freezer section.


Take a rain check on Gemini if you’re looking for heart-stopping sex of the deep and meaningful kind. As the mutable air sign, for Gemini love is primarily about a meeting of minds. Its passions don’t tend to run high although with its fondness for change and variety, it can be quite innovative in trying out different sexual techniques.


Love and sex are irrevocably intertwined in the mind of most Cancerians: many will be uncomfortable with the idea of physical intimacy unless they possess at least some degree of emotional involvement with their sexual partner. For this reason Cancer is one of the star signs least likely to have a one-night-stand.


Like everything in the life of the theatrical Lion, sex has to be glamorous and exciting for Leo. Without the right props and the right setting, you’ll never light a Leo’s fire. Think champagne and oysters, satin bedsheets, violins playing in the background. This sign’s biggest sexual fantasy? That they’re acting the lead in a romantic movie in front of an admiring audience. A strategically positioned mirror can create the desired effect!


Let’s start by clearing up a common misunderstanding. Virgos get just as much sex as anyone else and there are no more virgins among those born under this star sign than any other sign of the Zodiac. The purity associated with Virgo relates simply to these people’s impeccable standards: when seeking a long-term sexual partner, they tend to be extremely fussy about who measures up and who does not.


Libra’s interest in sex usually starts early. Because relationships are of such major significance to those born under this sign, many Librans find themselves a boyfriend or girlfriend at an early age. From then onwards they’re never without a ‘significant other’ for more than about five minutes. A single Libran rarely feels complete: they’re always searching for their other half to balance them out.


There’s something irresistibly hypnotic about Scorpios that gives them an extraordinary sexual magnetism. With those penetrating eyes that seem to see straight through to your soul, they can quickly gain a strange kind of sexual hold over you. It’s dangerously easy to fall madly in love with this star sign. It’s much harder, however, to get a Scorpio to fall in love with you.


They have a reputation as sexual adventurers – but then, adventure is invariably the be-all and end-all of a typical Sagittarian’s life. Love is a game of chance Sagittarius is happy to take a risk on: if things get too heavy for this footloose and fancy-free star sign, it’s always ready to move on.


If you want good sex with a Capricorn, the first rule is never, ever to make fun of them, not even in a good-natured way. Easily embarrassed and often lacking in confidence, many Capricorns tend to be a bit self-conscious about their sexual performance. Any kind of implied criticism will dampen their libido – and maybe finish your relationship for good.


As the symbol of the New Age of Aquarius, this sign takes a progressive approach to sex but, contrary to popular belief, it’s not necessarily into the concept of free love. Certainly, it believes in the importance of independence within sexual relationships and the right of each individual to a personal life of their own. But Aquarius is no more libidinous and no less faithful than any other star sign – unless, of course, it gets bored.


It’s the most mystical and other-worldly of the star signs. So it’s not surprising that for people born under Pisces, at its best sex is about losing themselves in a true spiritual at-oneness – and a lot more than just a physical thing. The sign most likely to make the earth move for you, there can be something magical about sex with a Pisces, and it’s perilously easy to fall under their spell.

Blog by Julez for Styles Rebel Radio

What sex-ed didn’t teach us.

There are many things that sexual education did teach us in middle school but there are alot of things that were skimped on…

The normal curriculum claims to include topics on HIV/AIDS and STI prevention; birth control with an emphasis on abstinence; values around gender, sexual orientation, and sexual relationships; reproductive anatomy and physiology; and many more useful topics for teens to maintain their health throughout their relationship.

The 7th-grade lesson plan focuses on basic sex ed topics such as anatomy, healthy relationships, pregnancy and birth control, STI and HIV/AIDS prevention, and an introduction to sexual orientation. 

The 8th-grade lesson plan builds upon the basic knowledge presented through the 7th-grade topics and explores the impact of being sexually active, sex in the media, building healthy relationships, and gender identity.

Birth Control

 I remember from my educational journey the only birth control I was taught about was the pill and if you do your research you can really go into detail about what forms are good for you and others that just don’t work but first what are your options

  • Birth Control Pills
  • Plan B
  • Female Condoms
  • Implant (Arm Bar)
  • IUD
  • Condoms
  • Tubal Ligation
  • Emergency Contraception
  • Depo-Provera Shot
  • Vasectomy
  • Spermicide
  • Male Birth Control

Of course tubal ligation and vasectomy are not really in the cards to be talked about with 7th and 8th graders but honestly the other forms of birth control are where we can start, talk about the negative health effects that all birth control can have on the body and that all bodies are different so what works for your friends may not work for you. The effects that birth control has on mental health as well as body weight should be talked about in schools it might help girls with their body image.

Sexual Orientation

This was not taught when i was in middle school I learned that “boys like girls” and “girls like boys” but now it is being taught that you  can like anyone and yes that is perfectly fine but don’t confuse the kids with if you’re born a boy you can be a girl if you feel like it. I understand the conversation if it comes up but I believe that is topic for them to figure out for themselves.


You already know schools led with this one, but they shouldn’t shame kids of course 7th and 8th graders should not be having sex just don’t tell them to wait until they are married so many people arern’t even getting married now a days so tell them it’s alright to have sex but you need to be mentally mature and physically ready.


The education system was spot on with the anatomy portion of the curriculum.

I do not have any complaints about this section.

Sex-Ed? Yes or No

You know considering everything the education system didn’t do all that bad if I was to teach a group of 12 year olds about balls and condoms I would struggle too they just need to go a little in depth about certain things so close to yes but not quite yet. 

Blog by Julez for Style’s Rebel Radio