Todd Howardisms

The day of reckoning has come and love him or hate him, Todd Howard and the Bethesda team are now under the management of Microsoft. Above all else this means Todd Howard has achieved his greatest feat yet, he has sold Skyrim again. This time is the heist of the century however, $7.5 Billion. The master plan does not end there however, with the overwhelming popularity of Game Pass, Todd will be selling Skyrim to Xbox users every single month for the foreseeable future. While the future of Todd presenting the newest Bethesda titles may be up in the air, we can always look back at the wise words he has left us in the past.

“It Just Works”

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There is absolutely no way we are running down the best Howardisms without kicking it off with THE most quoted line of all. “It Just Works”. Picture it, E3 2019, Bethesda Softworks own Todd Howard takes the stage, rumors have filled the air about a brand new Fallout title but have been supported by whispers of a new Skyrim variant. Then boom, there it is. Fallout 4. You sat in awe at the new iteration of the series was unveiled. The gameplay rolls on the screen as Godd Howard’s voice projects over the audience. As he explains the new world design, lore and mechanics, One assurance was made. “It Just Works”. From the game studio with more bugs than an insect exhibit, the lie that defined the future of the product and spawned millions of mems, “It Just Works”.

“Who’s Laughin’ Now?”

tenor

Coming off the cult success of the Oblivion title, ZeniMax Media’s Todd Howard sat down for a one on one interview to discuss his most recent works. During this encounter, Todd recalls how in school while other students dreamed of playing professional football, Todd always planned on becoming a game developer. To all those who doubted him Todd had one simple message, “Who’s Laughin’ Now”. Of course because the internet exists and we are all equally awful people this too was subject to become top meme material but hey, Who’s laughin now?

“You Dork, Go Back To The Chess Club

During his infamous “Who’s laughin’ now” interview came anither great line that was sadly overlooked. While the internet latched onto the previously stated line, the exclamation that follows is equally as funny in that same regard. Todd explains that while sharing his dreams of designing video games the general consensus from his peers was, “You dork, Go back to the chess club”. The line is delivered with such straight face monotone conviction that one cannot help but laugh, not to mention after a few breif moments of silence he follows it up with, “… yes I was in the chess club”. Classic Todd.

“As Far As Stupid Gimmicks Go, It’s The Best Fucking One”

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When the inhumane Godd Howard begins his reign of game unveiling he knows no bounds and can not be stopped! Alongside the introduction of Fallout 4, Todd showcased a real life Pip-boy 3000 that would be available with the collectors addition. Well surely this is a prop and will not have an actual electronic display the naïve audience collectively thought. Wrong you are peasants answered the divine one! Todd reviled that along with the Pip-boy came an app that acted as a second screen for your Fallout 4 experience. However, Todd was not shy to express his feeling s on how distracting he finds the second screen experience before quickly ensuring us all, “As far as stupid gimmicks go this is the best fucking one.” The man strikes again, dropping a hard F-bomb right there in the center of the E3 stage simply because he is Godd Howard and knows no mortal man can stop him.

“Glows In The Fucking Dark”

destructoid.com

There is no stopping this man. Another E3, another Fallout special edition. This time around Fallout 76 was announced to include a functional power armor helmet for special edition packages, but only that, as Todd so eloquently put it, the special edition would also include an in game map that, “Glows in the fucking dark.” Todd, this is why we love ya. The power of Godd Howard knows no social filters and it has since become the stuff of meme expectation for Todd to get so excited during a game announcement that he must drop the F-bomb.

“There Are Very Few Things as Good as Fallout”

Jumping back over to E3 and the presentation of Fallout 4, what better way to introduce your newest addition to the franchise than with a firm pat on your own back. While it’s amazing to hear him mutter in shaken confidence, we cannot exactly disagree with the man. Upon taking the stage an recounting how far video games have come in society, Todd take a deep breath before stumbling trough one of the greatest lines in E3 history. “There are very few things as good as Fallout”. The crowd, dressed to the nines in vault 101 jump suits, erupt along with all the viewers at home. A bold claim? Absolutely, Is he wrong though is the real question. The series will always have bugs, flaws, and skeptics but regardless of individual titles and opinions when it comes down to it, as a game, as a series, a story, and a community, when it comes to entertainment, There are very few things as good, as fallout.

“Sometimes It Doesn’t Just Work”

Oh Todd, there has never been such a strong love hate relationship as the one between the fallout community towards your leadership. Upon revealing the completely online and first ever multiplayer Fallout, Fallout 76, fans of the series were immediately divided between excitement and fear of what this may bring. While the ability to finally explore the waste with friends was on the table, so was the lingering reputation of Bethesda’s engine development. Fortunately enough for us Father Howard shared these mixed emotions as well as he introduced the Fallout 76 Beta dubbed, the Break-it Early Test Application. Now why would a man with the confidence of a god seem unsure about the quality of his engine? To quoke the man directly, he had read on the internet that, “Sometimes, It doesn’t just work”. We love you Todd. The Godd has become self-aware.

In all seriousness I am a die hard Fallout fan through and through, while people may disagree about certain entries in the series or have issues with overall bugs in gameplay, we cannot forget how much time and effort has gone into this project and how much of an impact it has had on our lives. For that we do have to give credit where credit is due to Todd Howard and all the devs from Bethesda. I encourage everyone to go and rewatch both the Fallout 4 and 76 E3 presentations as even though they may not have turned out exactly as you wanted, going back and watching them still gives you that old magic feeling of a new Fallout title.

Let me know what some of your favorite Todd Howardisms are as well as what you think the future holds for Bethesda Softworks under the banned of Microsoft by using the Discord link below! Turn on notifications to keep up to date with all the latest events and happenings and get behind the scenes access to The Rebel Podcast!

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MORE Of The Greatest Minor Characters in Fallout

Before we dive in here let me make something abundantly clear, this list is a squeal. In order to check out all the great characters who made up the first list give Ol’ Easy Pete here a nice gentle click.

reddit.com

Now, it seems as though the last list of minor characters just didn’t cut it. While there still needs to be limitations set on just how many of these unique beings can be featured here, after further review we definitely could not live with ourselves without including these characters. Once again before we dive in I would like to remind everyone that the qualification these NPCs must meet is ultimately not having any form of barring on the main story or it’s outcome. With that in mind here are MORE of the greatest minor characters in the Fallout series.

Dave

Fallout.fandom.com

Election season is upon is and who better to kick of this list than the president himself, president of The Republic of Dave of course. Let’s face facts here, you rolled up on this little “republic” as you were patrolling the capital wastes where, surprise surprise, you find Dave, leader of The Republic of Dave and from that first interaction you had it out for this pompous SOB. Naturally, seeing organized government working in the post apocalyptic society turned your stomach and with your vast knowledge of the democratic process begin poking around asking about the election of Dave. As you begin to learn more about the ill constructed, incest filled republic, you come to find out The Republic of Dave derived from the The Kingdom of Tom, which derived form The New Republic of Stevie-Ray which itself derived from Billyslvania by way of The Republic of Stevie-Ray originally being formed after it’s predecessor The Kingdom of Larry. Dave is but a spoke on the wheel and you are about to ensure that wheel keeps turning. Whether you choose to oversee the electoral process yourself or “you gotta shoot ’em in the head” you made damn sure Dave got his reality check and you loved every minute of it.

Doc Mitchell

Tumbler

For someone not considered a “main” character, Fallout NV does not happen without Doc Mitchell pulling your ass out of the dirt and fixing you up. While we’re on the subject though, why the hell was this dude rooting around a fresh grave and playing with what he found. Regardless after Frankenstein over here finishes digging the 24 caret run of bad luck out of your noggin he goes out of his way to ensure you can walk, talk, and take a Rorschach ink blot test. (Definitely two bears high-fiving BTW.) Not to mention if you were one of the lucky few you got to see this man’s head spin right round like a record while he asked you how you felt. Talk about a way to be introduced to a game. Doc Mitchell deserves more praise for not only being the sole reason you weren’t six feet deep on Benny’s dime through out all of Fallout New Vegas but for allowing a stranger to steal literally everything from his home.

Fisto

Tumbler.com

“Please assume the position.” Need I say more?

Vault-Tec Rep.

Warosu.org

First and foremost, We know that’s you Todd Howard. You aren’t slick. Fresh off hearing about how “it just works” you boot up Fallout 4 and see this familiar face. Upon his instance and no matter how much you may have tried to avoid him The Vault-Tec rep. locked you into a family plan at your local Vault, 111. Fast forward legitimately 6 minuets, and we see our persistent friend once again being denied access to that very same vault. “I am Vault-Tec” he shouts as we chuckle being lowered into safety while he is inevitably turned to nuclear dust. You take a quick ice nap and wake up 200 years in the future with no wife and presumably no son. Remembering you left the TV on, you head to what was once your neighborhood to find just how much damage nuclear warfare can accomplish. After some chit chat with good ol’ Codsworth you set out on your quest to find your son… and apparently act as Tye Pennington for the entire commonwealth. So your travels lead you to Goodneighbor, and after the live entertainment makes you feel some way you head back to the local hotel for a good nights rest. Why not rummage through other people’s stuff while I’m here, you think to yourself, so you open the first door and who do you find? None other than Vault-Tec himself. You smiled, don’t even lie. The only other human being… well kinda… you have had any kind of bond with in over 200 years. I don’t care who you are are what kind of character you are playing, I know damn well you invited him back to Sanctuary with you. Like it or not, this is the closest living person you’ve got out there who knows you and look at you now, best buds. Go ahead and tell me I’m wrong.

Old Man Harris

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Strolling down the streets of an almost picture perfect small community where everybody seems to be in good spirits and family values have outlasted total nuclear annihilation you seem to get the feeling something larger may be at play here. The residents of Andale welcome and greet you with open arms, even going as far as to invite you over for dinner! However one particular resident doesn’t seem to hold himself to that same regard. Old Man Harris explains to you everything is not as it seems and these people are crazy. Hey, he’s just a crazy old an the townsfolk assure you, driven mad by the death of his wife. As much as you may enjoy the change of pace you need to get to the bottom of this and thus you take the old man’s advice to check out the shed out back. Ah yes, cannibals. When confronted about your trespassing you could take the rout of, Hey to each their own, but there is just something about distraught Old Man Harris that will linger in the back of your mind. So you kill a couple people eaters, no harm no fowl right? Reporting back to this lovable Old coot, he explains he will now be taking care of the two neighborhood children himself. While your interaction with Old Man Harris my be limited, should you ever stumble back near Andale, in the back of your mind he will always have a special place. Of course, there is always this gem to take with you courtesy of Old Man Harris himself, “Better an orphan than a cannibal I guess.” All of this may be for loss however if you have been roaming The Capital Wasteland cannibal perk intact.

The Mechanist

Propnomicon

It had to be didn’t it. For arguments sake, we will be referring to the original Mechanist in Fallout 3 as the Fallout 4 iteration can be argued to be an essential character.to the DLC “story”. While jamming out to the hottest station in all of DC, Galaxy News Radio, you learn about two “costumed cookes” holding up Canterbury commons. Strap in for one of the most out there missions in the game as you diffuse the superhero movie that is The Mechanist vs. The AntAgonizer. Everything about The Mechanist would make you forget you’re playing a Fallout game, other than the endless swarms of Robobrains ruining your day. Once you engage in conversation with the self proclaimed hero, you cannot help but sit there smiling as he does his best impression of a stereotypical comic book hero. Should you chose to align yourself with him in the fight against evil and convince his arch nemesis to throw down her guns, you’ll be walking away with her AntAgonizer garb. This right here is why this spot goes to The Mechanist rather than the former, while the Legion of Doom spikes of the AntAgonizer look cool enough, you know deep down you want to BE The Mechanist. Whether you achieve this by convincing The Mechanist to step down himself or by being true neutral and giving each of them a 10mm alternative to their comic book lifestyle, you know damn sure you’re walking out of there with that armor. Hell, The Mechanist was so well received for such a minor role they brought him…well her… back in Fallout 4’s Automotron DLC.

Once again we have come to the end of another Fallout list and I’m sure there are plenty of names that have been left off. That’s one of the greatest things about the fallout series as a whole however, no matter which games you prefer they are all packed full of unique and memorable characters that don’t necessarily need to play major roles to have a major impact on your experience. As always I’d love to hear who you think the best minor characters in the Fallout franchise are and who knows, maybe there will even be yet another list.

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The Greatest Minor Characters in Fallout

The Fallout game series is one of the most loved and hated series at the same time. Regardless if you love it or hate it however, anyone who has sat down and taken the time to become invested in the game usually walks away with some redeeming experience. The Fallout series follows the protagonists on their individual journeys across the vast and barren wasteland on their respective quests. Now, anyone who has ever played a Fallout game knows the real fun comes not from that main questline, but rather the side quests and intriguing characters you’ll meet along the way. Quests and characters that ultimately have no real barring on the overall outcome of the story, yet seemingly exist to make the path you take there all the more enjoyable. The following NPCs are worthy of a spot at the top of that list and will truly never be forgotten when we look back on our in game choices.

Easy Pete

Reddit

Just picture it, you find yourself on the wrong end of an 18-Karat run of bad luck ending with a bullet lodged firmly in your dome piece. When you wake up, surprisingly, after the local town Dr. finishes scraping the led from your noggin and deems you mentally fit… somehow, you wander into the one horse town and up to the local saloon where just outside the door you find a soft spoken Ol’ feller appropriately named Easy Pete. Admit it, the sight of the old prospector outside the bar drew your interest more that popping off some shots on empty bottles out back. You wanted to know more, you wanted to be his friend, and when those nasty old powder gangers rode into town you wanted his dynamite. Regardless on if he would fork over the loot or not, you fought your heart out to protect not the tow of Goodsprings, but Easy Pete.

Gary!

Funnyjunk.com

By this point in your travels as The Lone Wanderer you have begun to grow accustomed to some of the more predictable elements of The Capital Wasteland. You enter an abandoned school, Raiders. Snooping around in downtown D.C., Mutants. Breaking into a government controlled underground vault system, some raiders, bugs, wastelanders, nothing too fancy there right? Wrong. Enter Vault 108. Upon cracking open the nuclear worn sealed door, you will be greeted with faint yet ominous, “Gary”. “My name’s not Gary ” you may think to yourself as you proceed to explore deeper, unless your name really is Gary… yikes. As you bypass the mandatory post war vault corpses you begin to notice they are in fact ALL Gary. Then boom, faster than you can think twice about the fact your dad sounds eerily similar to Liam Neeson, a swarm of vault dwellers with the vocabulary equivalent of a Pikachu are plumbing you wit a vast array of melee attacks as they all call out, “Gary”. However once you have defeated the relatively small army of Commander Cody bootlegs and begin your ascension back to the surface, you come to realize how much you enjoyed your visit in Vault 108. You laugh audibly at the fact the dialect comprised entirely of the word “Gary” still involved punctuation and enunciation. From there on out, you could never hear the name “Gary” the same way ever again.

Takahashi

Nan-ni shimasho-ka?

Confessor Cromwell

Giant Bomb

Behold! For he is the prophet of Atom and leader of the undying glow! You stroll into a metal heap fresh off a newly acquired set of daddy issues and after being greeted by Calamity Jane waltz down the crumbling isle way to find a man shouting at an active nuclear bomb that is conveniently placed in the center of town. Without even stopping to think that somewhere out over the horizon this bumbling cesspool might be considered an eye sore, you engage in conversation with the man who is knee deep in irradiated water preaching about “The Glow”. You decide to humor him and toss him 10 rusty bottle caps that have been surely giving you tetanus for days now, and ask him just what in the blue hell his issue is. He informs you that you are now dwelling in his sacred land and that every eye will be blinded by his glory and every ear stricken def to hear the thunder of his voice, Atom that is of course, who lets not forget, is an active atomic bomb. Nevertheless his stories entertain you and you carry on your way now knowing there is in fact organized religion in the wasteland, well more of cult but to each their own. All fun and games right, until you’re be escorted into a basement of a burned down house and being nothing short of breast fed “holy water” by a bunch of dudes high off battery fumes. Even after all that though, you’d feel bad about blowing up Megaton because you’d miss your irradiated little buddy. Hell, he’s even popular out in the commonwealth.

Dukov

Youtube.com/Oxhorn

Slinkin’ around downtown near the metros of D.C. and acting like for some unknown reason you are more important than it’s other patrons, you find yourself between a rock and a hard place. By that of course we mean between a sizable camp of raiders placed conveniently in front of a camp of super mutants and an Enclave post (yes, we play with Broken Steel like we were meant to). Naturally instincts kick in as you slip between them into an open building between the two. Inside is not your typical office building or abandon super market however, rather a full scale bachelor pad! When a man who could only ever be described as a cross between Hugh Hefner and Vladimir Putin approaches you wearing nothing but some sexy sleepwear you begin to believe you’ve made the right choice. After you emotionally recover from being given the nickname “Clown shoes” you come to realize while Dukov may live in the middle of a hell hole with two prostitutes who are about as trust worthy as Amada, it’s still a pretty solid set up. Not to mention a fast track to free booze and pre-war money. All thanks to you, you crazy stereotype sex god.

Harold

Giant Bomb

It had to be didn’t it. The absolute greatest minor character in the history of the franchise. What starts out as a bright new adventure exploring the hub gets intriguing when you run into a friendly ghoul, who oddly enough has a sapling sprouted from his head. To each his own you figure and begin listening to his story, which is essentially the entire backstory for the game even though Harold remains largely minute in his actual in game role. After many hours of getting the water chip and putting The Master in his place (you better have), Bing, bang, boom, roll credits. You move on with life until the next generation of the most compelling game in existence brings you back the sweet sensation of post-apocalyptia. Bam here we go. Who am I, The Chosen One (Not Drew McIntyre). What am I doing here, finding the GECK. Got it! But wait, guess who’s waiting in Gecko. It’s our boy tree head, Harold and Bob, that would be the name of the ever growing tree in Harold’s brain, and they want their power plant fixed. Simple enough, fix the plant, move on with life, end the president, obtain the GECK, save the wastes. Another year in the books, but wait, Fallout is back… IN DAZZLING 3D. After hours of searching for your old man, or lets face it, exploring the niche areas of the map because that’s the selling point here really isn’t it, you stumble upon Oasis. Greeted not by Liam or Noel Gallagher, but equally as shocking… trees! Trees blooming with life as far as the eye can see! But why, why are trees growing here and not in the rest of the hellscape that is The Capital Wasteland? I’ll tell you why, Harold. Taking a big ol’ hike up to D.C. Harold and Bob have hunkered down, by decision of Bob and are now the focal point of a cult. Being a cult icon ain’t always jet and hookers though my friend, so once and for all we get to close this chapter of human… tree history and take Harold out behind the wood shed.

In all honesty this was the hardest article I have ever written, don’t get me wrong it was physically the easiest, once I began typing everything just flowed so naturally. The hard part was narrowing down the list of names to a select few! As I am currently writing this there is a list of 13 more names I considered for spot on this blog. Who knows, maybe we’ll do this again sometime soon! If you’d like to see more content like this leave a comment down below and let me know what you thought!

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